When Joel finally looked up, he was smiling. “You really think I’m attractive?”
“You want me to stand up and embarrass myself proving it?”
Joel laughed, the first time Alec had seen that.
Joel said, “Well, yeah. I’m gay, too! But I’m not going to embarrass you. If we’re alike, you must hate being embarrassed as much as I do. It’s about my worst thing.”
Alec laughed, too. “Thanks. I’d do it if you said to, but I would be embarrassed. The thing I want most is someone to talk to, to share my feelings with, to hang with. I was doing a little of that with Tanner, but he’s in a different place in life than I am, and he’s miles away. I really like him—a lot—but I realized I wanted to be with someone my own age who’s experiencing the same things I am. Now that I’ve met you, I want that someone to be you.”
Joel was meeting Alec’s eyes now. “Really? Even though I’m a mess? Spend time together? But neither of us can drive at our age. Where do you live? Probably not close because I know you’re not at my school. I know all the cute boys at my school. No way I’d have missed you.”
Alec blushed now. “Damn. I told you we were alike. But I know how we can get together. I guess you’re spending the summer alone. No job? Just reading?”
“Yeah, mostly. My dad keeps trying to push me out of the house and making dire threats. He doesn’t mean them; he loves me, much more than Mom ever did. I got the best parent out of the divorce. But he’s not home when I get up, so just staying home and reading, a lot of it in bed, is how I’m spending the summer.”
Alec nodded. “I haven’t told you anything about me yet. I know how we can spend all the time we want together. I think you’ll love it.”
He went on to tell him about his summer job, about spending so much time at the ballpark. About Leo—all except his sex with him—about his trip to Anaheim—but not about what he and Tanner had done in the shower—and about realizing he wanted to find a friend to be with this summer. He didn’t use the word boyfriend. That, he felt, would be coming on way too strong.
He did talk about Cal and the cheap rate he had for his services. “Joel, I’m making money I don’t really need. Dad wanted me to find out what having a job was all about. Having responsibility. I’m getting paid and can spend just a little of that having Cal get you to the ballpark with me. I can’t think of any way in the world that would be a better way to use that money. What I’m thinking is, when the team’s back in town, I’ll have Cal bring you to the park each morning about the time Leo and I are done, and we can spend the rest of the day together, and you can watch the games with me in Dad’s private box.
“We’ll figure out something else when the team’s on the road.”
Joel’s face was glowing. “That’s unbelievable. Fantastic! I’m a huge Otters fan. And your dad is the GM? Hey, I need to talk to him. I know some trades he should make.”
Alec broke out laughing. Joel managed to look abashed but smiled through it. “I know. Presumptuous a little? But I haven’t told you something about me. I did tell you I knew a lot about baseball. Because of Tanner, but more than that. When I get interested in something, I get involved in it. I read a lot, and a lot of that is about baseball. I guess I have to prove it to you. Pick a major league team at random. Any one of them.”
Alec asked, “Uh, and keep it to myself? Like you’re going to read my mind?”
“You’re funny. No, pick one at random and tell me which it is.”
“Okay. Uh, the Guardians?”
“Good. Now tell me a position.”
“Left field.”
“Steven Kwan. Last year he hit .292 for the season, .381 in the postseason. He’s not a homerun hitter, more a contact, slap hitter, but he did hit 14 dingers last year, which is probably why his average dropped, but he was injured, too, so that may have been part of that. Fast, steals bases, great arm. Fact: he went to school at Oregon State and is a nice guy. He won his second Gold Glove as the best left fielder in the league, too.”
Alec looked at him in astonishment. “That’s just off the top of your head? I just picked a team and a position at random. How in the world would you know that?
“I have a photographic memory; scientists use the term ‘eidetic’. Nothing I did to deserve it; I just have it. I like baseball, so I read up on it, and I remember what I read. I know every player on every team. Their stats, too. So, when I meet your father—something I’ve dreamed of doing but knew it would never happen, especially at my age—I know who he should get in a trade and who the Otters should offer. Now I’m excited!”
“Hey, you’re supposed to be excited about meeting me, not my dad!”
Joel laughed again. Alec started chubbing up again. He was pretty sure he’d have to get used to that. A few minutes later, Joel laughed again. It happened again.
Joel noticed, and he blushed. He said, “No one has ever reacted to me the way you do. It’s a little overwhelming. But I think I like it, mostly. You’re easy to be with. I’m usually a little scared with new people. Not a bit with you, which is very strange. Yeah, spending more time with you, I’d like that.”
Alec and Joel talked on the phone the next day. Actually, they spoke several times, as Alec kept calling, not able to control himself. As each time Joel seemed pleased to be called, so Alec didn’t think he was being too much over the top. Especially when he got Joel giggling.
««« »»»
The next day, Alec rode to the stadium with his dad. He checked his rooms and found they were just as they’d been when he and Leo had finished with them. He was on edge; Joel would be joining him soon. He tried to sit down, but he simply bounced back up again. He walked down and onto the field. The magnificence of the place always filled him with awe when he stepped on the grass.
Eventually, after looking at his watch for the umpteenth time, he went and joined Hank outside the stadium at the administration entrance. He didn’t have long to wait till Cal’s car arrived and, with it, Joel.
Joel opened the door, said something to Cal, and stepped out. Alec felt the intestinal jolt he always felt on Joel’s first appearance. “Hi,” he said, hating how eager he sounded.
Joel looked at him, blushed and ‘hi’-ed him back. Alec realized he had to cut back his reaction to Joel or he’d scare him away. Realizing it and doing it were two different things, of course. “Let’s go in. I’ll show you around. The stadium’s a little creepy when it’s deserted, but that’s mostly just the underground hallways. Lots of people are at work here. We just won’t see many of them with the team on the road.”
He took Joel inside and first walked down the main aisle around the stadium that had openings to the ground level seats. No one was there, and the inside lights were set for low-wattage usage. The eerie feel Alec had noticed before, even at this level with daylight peeking through here and there, was very strong.
“Are you sure we’re supposed to be here?” Joel said.
“Hey, I’m royalty here. People tremble in my presence. An uppity usher stopped me from going into the GM’s box last game, and when he found out who I was, he was groveling at my feet before I gave him permission to flee, which he did, scurrying away. Yes, we can be here, and no one will make a fuss.”
“I hate confrontations,” Joel said.
“There won’t be any.”
He took Joel around, showing him the rooms he was responsible for, then the field from high in the upper deck. Next, they visited the private boxes, and then the field-level seats, saving the dugouts and playing field for last. The stadium was an immense structure, and there was lots of walking involved. Alec used the time to get to know Joel better. This time, he tried to let Joel do most of the talking. He found another similarity between them: Joel wasn’t any more eager to monopolize a conversation than he was.
When Joel fell silent for long enough for it to be getting awkward, Alec knew it was time for him to bring up something he wanted to discuss.
“Joel, I spoke to Tanner a couple of times on the phone yesterday. He’s very interested in knowing about you. He feels bad that you think he doesn’t like you or doesn’t care about you. He’s sensitive, not like many jocks , and he says this is his fault, and he wants to see you and apologize and spend some time with you. I told him I’d talk to you, see if you want to do that. What do you think?”
If Alec thought he’d get gushing enthusiasm, he was mistaken. Joel didn’t say anything for a while but then stopped walking. Alec stopped, too, and turned to look at him.
“I don’t know, Alec. It’d be just like I remember. He’d learn I’m just me, dull, non-athletic, bookish, timid—that we’re just not the same at all. It would be embarrassing, and he’d be trying to think up a reason to walk away.”
“You keep mentioning the non-athletic business, and I told you before, you can’t say that without trying things. Anyway, you’re not giving Tanner much credit. I got to know him, and you’ll see—he’s sensitive and real. The fact he’s athletic didn’t come into it at all; it was never mentioned.”
“Well, that’s how I knew him before, and he’ll remember. He’d always be outside with friends throwing a football around or playing catch with a baseball, shooting hoops in our driveway, and I never got invited to play with them, which was fine because I’m sure I couldn’t have fit in. He’ll remember that. If we meet, and I can see he still thinks that way about me, it’ll hurt so bad. I admire him, but meeting him . . . it seems too risky. I know I’m thin-skinned, but I get my feelings hurt awfully easily.”
“Mostly because you can’t catch or throw a ball?”
“See? Now you’re doing it!”
“NO! I’m leading up to something. I’d never belittle you! I already like you too much. I don’t care if you can’t catch or throw. Really. But I know it’s a big deal to you. And I want to see if you’re as awkward—that’s not the right word; inept maybe?—as you seem to think. I doubt it. Anyone sharing genes with Tanner has to have some athletic aptitude. I want to see if you’re the uncoordinated klutz you think you are. I won’t believe it till I see it.”
Joel remained skeptical. “And how do you expect to prove it?”
“Come on. I’ll show you.”
Alec led Joel back to the Otters’ locker room and to his locker there. He opened it and took out a kids-sized Nerf football he’d brought with him that morning. He’d stowed it in his locker for this moment. He took it out and handed it to Joel.
“We’re going to throw this back and forth, and you’re going to prove to me how hopeless you are. You’ll drop every throw coming to you, and you’ll never throw it all the way to me. And while you’re doing your best to show me that, I’m going to be showing you you’ve been doubting yourself too long; you’ve been comparing yourself to one of the best young athletes in the country. I think you’ll see you can throw and catch and do so without any instruction at all. All I need from you is a willingness to try. Can you do that?”
Joel was holding the ball, looking at it, and didn’t answer. Alec stepped to him, took the ball away, then showed him how to hold it to throw a pass. The ball was just the right size for Joel’s hand.
“Grip it like this with three fingers on what would be laces on a real football. They’re there so when you throw it, you can put spin on the ball. That spin helps keep your passes from being knuckleballs. Now, watch what I do. What my arm and hand do.”
He took a half-step away from Joel so he was in the clear, then raised his arm, moved the ball back by his ear, stepped forward with his left leg and threw it, pulling down with his hand while doing so to put a lot of spin on the ball. It sailed across the room and bumped into the far wall.
“Okay, it’s that simple. You can do that, but first I want to show you something else.”
He handed Joel the ball, then moved about ten feet away from him, turned and faced him. “Now, stand facing me with your shoulders parallel to mine. I want you to toss me the ball overhand. Don’t try anything fancy, don’t move your feet, just toss me the ball using only your arm.”
Joel did that, and the ball hit the floor at Alec’s feet.
“Didn’t feel very comfortable, did it?” Alec asked, his voice supportive rather than anything negative.
Joel shook his head. “Told you I couldn’t do this.”
“And I told you no one has ever shown you how. Do you think if someone handed you a violin and asked you to play the Bruch‘s famous concerto, how that would go? But if you had lessons, you could at least try, maybe play the Air on the G String? You’ve never had a lesson; I wouldn’t expect you to throw well. So, here’s your first lesson.”
He picked up the ball and said, “Watch me.” Then he turned so his shoulders were perpendicular to Joel, his left shoulder facing him. “Watch my feet now. I’ll step forward when tossing you the ball, which, by the way, you should catch with your hands, not your body. But don’t worry about that, just watch how I get more than just my arm into the throw.”
Alec bent his knees a couple of times to loosen up, then slowly brought the ball up by his ear, stepped forward with his left leg about a half step, and tossed the ball softly to Joel, again spinning it so the ball made a good spiral. Joel caught it with his hands, instinctively, then looked at the ball in surprise.
“See that? The throw I mean. I want you to do that. What you’ll see is that it’s much more comfortable throwing when your body is helping, and when you’re throwing across it rather than with both your shoulders facing your target. Okay, go ahead.”
Joel turned sideways, bent his knees, then stood straight again, and, remembering his last throw was too short, threw a little harder this time.
The ball spun in a perfect spiral and sailed over Alec’s head and halfway across the locker room. Joel watched in stunned amazement.
Alec wasn’t stunned. He was ecstatic. He rushed to Joel and hugged him. Then he realized what he was doing and stepped back. “See what a little instruction mixed with natural talent can do? That was great! Now, we’re going out on the field and we’re going to throw passes to each other. You’ll be amazed how quickly you get a feel for how hard to throw the ball—to get it to go as far or as short as you want it to. And for how quickly both the footwork and your arm motion become second nature and you aren’t even thinking about either.”
“I really did throw it, didn’t I?” Joel stuttered.
“Not only that, but you caught it with no effort at all when I tossed it to you. Joel, when you try almost anything, I think you’ll find you can do much more than you imagined. And you can have fun doing it. You can also lose that inferiority complex that bugs you.”
Joel was wide-eyed and awestruck when he first stepped onto the field. He told Alec he’d never been to a game. He’d seen a lot of them on TV, but in person the playing field was much different, much more intense and amazing, something real rather than an image on at TV screen. It had far more impact than what he’d imagined.
They were both wearing sneakers and shorts because it was a warm summer day. Joel surprised himself with how quickly he was taking to the Nerf football. There was no reason to be scared of it because, even if it bounced off his hands and hit him in the face, it was soft enough not to hurt, and Alec was careful not to throw the ball any harder than he had to, and most of his throws were lobs which settled softly into Joel’s hands.
They played catch for over a half hour, and by the end, Alec was trotting, and Joel had learned to lead him with his passes. Then Joel tried that, and when he caught his first ball on the run, he whooped with joy. When Alec said they should rest for a while, Joel ran to him, and this time he hugged Alec.
“This is so much fun, I can’t believe it. I’ve missed this.”
“I was sure you’d be good. And you are. We should do more of this. In football, the quarterbacks and receivers have set plays. We need to do that. The trick is, the receiver goes out for a pass, then changes directions sharply so the defense has to try to stay with him, and if the ball has already—”
“Yeah, I know,” Joel interrupted. “I’ve watched games. You and I can do that! We can have—what do they call them: routes—and number them, and in our huddle I say, ‘Run number three’, you go out, run the number three route, and I throw the ball just as you’re about to make your break.”
Alec just shook his head. “I think I’ve created a monster. But look, that’s a great idea. We can do that, practice it and develop a few routes, but then we need to get a couple more guys. Guys to play against.”
Alec saw that didn’t appeal to Joel at all. “Hey, no, don’t get worried. It would be for fun. No tackling, no hard blocking, just touch football played for fun. But let’s forget that for now and run some routes and number them. We’ll each take turns being the QB.”
They were back at it and quickly had three routes numbered. Lots of laughing was going on, and Alec marveled that Joel, when he dropped a ball or threw a bad pass, wasn’t letting it bother him at all. He was being a kid, accepting that he wasn’t great at this but was enjoying it and that he was getting better all the time.
Alec was acting as the quarterback when he heard a shout.
“Hey, what’s going on out here? You’re not allowed out here. Not even in the stadium. You’re ruining my grass!”
Alec held onto the ball and turned to face a man walking swiftly toward him. Suddenly Joel was with him, actually just slightly behind him and peeking out on the side away from the approaching man.
Alec waited, and the man stopped right in front of him. “I ought to call the police. You two are trespassing. How’d you get in here, anyway? What are your names?” He pulled his phone from his pocket.
“How are we hurting your grass?” Alec asked. “We’re wearing sneakers; the players wear spikes. Some of them weigh over 200 pounds. Both together, I’m sure we’re about that or less. Neither of us comes close to 200 pounds.”
“Doesn’t matter. You don’t belong here. The police will handle it. Names!”
“I’m Alec, he’s Joel. I’m Mr. Rafferty’s son. I work here as one of the clubhouse boys. I didn’t think there was any harm in being out here. We’ve been here over an hour, and look: no problems with the grass at all. You can’t even see where we’ve been running on it.”
“Mr. Rafferty’s son? You’d better show me some ID.”
“I knew we were coming out here, so I dumped all my stuff, my wallet and phone and ID card, in my locker in the clubhouse.”
“I’m calling the cops. You just stand here.”
Alec looked at Joel; he looked almost terrified. Like a boy getting in trouble for the very first time. Alec turned back to the man. “What’s your name, sir? I guess you have something to do with maintaining the grounds; you said the grass belonged to you.”
“I’m Fred Masters, head groundskeeper, head of my crew.”
“Well, Mr. Masters, rather than calling the police, why don’t we call my dad. He’ll identify me. And maybe he’ll even see fit to ask you to let us continue playing on your grass. If you don’t know his number, I do—by heart.”
Mr. Masters looked uncertain. This kid didn’t seem a bit nervous or awed; if he didn’t have some right to be here, he would have been. He hated the idea of disturbing Mr. Rafferty. He wasn’t sure what to do.
Alec had an idea. “Say, you said you’re in charge of the grounds crew. I’ve seen them rolling out the tarp and preparing the field before games, but I haven’t seen you. I guess you don’t get involved with that stuff during games. But I’ve seen there’s a kid on the crew. He looks about my age. Am I right?”
“Yeah, you’re probably talking about my son. Kevin. He’s 15.”
“Is he here today? We need another player to play defense. He could join us, and you can tell him to keep an eye on us to make sure we’re not ruining your grass.”
Mr. Masters fought off a grin. This kid had moxie. “Yeah, okay, let’s call your father.” He handed his phone to Alec and noted he didn’t have to search for a number. Alec asked Mrs. Gonzalez to pass him on to his dad, then handed the phone to Mr. Masters. It took only a moment to confirm Alec was his son. Then Mr. Rafferty asked Mr. Masters if he could allow them to play on the grass, and of course if there was a problem, he had his permission to have them stop immediately. At the end, Mr. Rafferty thanked Mr. Masters for allowing the kids to play. The call only lasted about three minutes.
Mr. Masters turned to Alec. “I don’t know if you’re aware just how good a man your dad is. I’ve worked at various MLB fields for 32 years. I’ve seen GMs come and go. Your dad, when he got here, the first thing he did was walk around and meet all the people who work here. He learned their names, their wives’ and kids’ names, and he remembers them all. When we meet him in the building, he always smiles and greets us with a handshake and a few words. Complimentary words. He tells me this is the best-maintained playing field in the majors. He says he’s proud when other teams come in and see our field. Makes me feel like a million dollars. That’s the kind of man he is.”
Alec blushed a little, then thanked Mr. Masters, apologized for not looking for him and getting permission before going on the field, and he said Kevin could come out and join them any time he was available.
Posted 26 March 2025