Alec turned, expecting to see a relieved Joel. After all, they weren’t being cuffed and hauled off to jail, which was what Alec thought Joel might be fearing. They’d been trespassing! Joel had probably never even entered a store through the Out door, afraid if he did such a criminal act he’d be caught and yelled at or that there’d be even worse consequences.
What he saw instead was Joel looking very unhappy, looking at the ground and half-turned away from Alec.
Alec was about to make a sarcastic, teasing statement, but realized just in time that that was the sort of thing Joel had had a bellyful of. He stopped himself and rethought what he needed to say. He came up with the perfect supportive words: “Man, that was scary, wasn’t it?”
Joel didn’t respond. He just stood still, refusing to even look at Alec.
Alec walked over to him and put a comforting arm over his shoulder.
Joel shrugged it off and took a step away from him.
Alec didn’t move closer. Instead, he said softly, “Okay, I’ve done something wrong. I’m sorry, but unless I know what it was, I’m likely to do it again. Whatever it is, we can fix it. But you have to have the courage to tell me.”
It took some time. Alec could see Joel fighting with himself. Alec couldn’t understand what could have happened in the past few minutes that would have affected Joel so much. They’d been having so much fun!
Finally, Joel raised his head.
“I wanted us to be alone together. We were having so much fun! I can’t remember ever being this happy playing outside before. Being together was most of that. Doing it with you.”
Alec still was confused. “But Joel, we are together. We’re playing with the football. I thought I might be able to show you you were wrong about being so bad with anything involving a ball. I thought, since you’re Tanner’s brother, you have to share some of his physical attributes, even if you like different things. And look, you did great! You’re much better at this than you thought. And with more repetitions, you may even get better than great. So, tell me. You gave me the impression you were loving this. Did I read you wrong?”
Joel looked like he was being forced to say something he didn’t want to but that he had no choice. “I liked what we were doing. But why did you invite another kid to join us?”
Ah! Alec understood. This was his fault! He was about to apologize but thought it would be better if he could get Joel to talk about how this hurt his feelings. To accomplish that, he needed to pave the way. “Okay, so maybe the two of us won’t be alone while he’s here, but that won’t last long, and the payback is that the game will be much more fun if we have someone trying to defend the passes we’re throwing. You might not see that until we do it, but then you will. I think you’ll love it. At least give it a chance.”
There was a pause, and then, almost under Joel’s breath, he said, “But you want someone else to join us. I knew you’d get bored with me.”
“Joel! That’s not true! There’s no way that’s . . . look, he’s only going to spice up what we’re doing. I didn’t invite him for any reason other than to make the game more fun. No way am I thinking I’d like to meet another boy or that I’m tired of you. That’s impossible, now that I’ve been with you. I’m so proud of what you did today. I’m so happy we’re doing this together.”
Joel wasn’t backing down. “I told you I don’t do well with other boys. Especially in anything that’s rough. This won’t be fun for me. If I’m going out for a pass, and he’s trying to stop it, he’ll crash into me, push me, hold me, and I’ll just end up stopping. Probably walking off the field, looking like the feeble, yellow idiot I am.”
“No way! Do you think I’d allow that? Look, this is our game. Yours and mine. We make the rules. He accepts and plays by those rules or he doesn’t get to play with us. So one of our rules, the very first one, is that there’s no contact allowed between players. None. Even if it’s entirely accidental, that’s the end of the game.
“And you know the funny part? He may be as happy with that rule as you and I are. Lots of guys, at least half of them, don’t like rough stuff at all. We’ll find out. If this boy doesn’t work out, we’ll find someone else. Or won’t. But next time, I’ll be smart enough to have you agree to it and help decide who it is. But let’s give this a chance. I think this will work.
“Can you trust me with this? And I’ll try not to make the same mistake again, making decisions for both of us. I’m new at this! I’ll screw up, but if you’ll tell me what’s wrong, I won’t do it as much. You have to trust me to do that.”
Joel finally met Alec’s eyes. “I do. I trust you more than anyone. I’ve never had a friend before who cared as much about me and my feelings as you do. You’re more than just a best friend. I really like you, and I’m always worrying that I’ll do something to chase you away. Like right now. I was stupid not being able to tell you why my feelings were hurt. I still haven’t, exactly. I felt that you thought you’d have more fun if you included someone else and weren’t stuck with just me.”
After saying that, he dropped his eyes again.
“Joel!” Alec’s voice was sharp enough that Joel had to look again. “I’m not stuck with you. This is the happiest I’ve ever been, not because we’re playing with a ball, but because I’m with you. I’ve seen how happy you are, and that makes me happy. I don’t want that ever to end. What I’ve been wanting since I met you was for us to be boyfriends. That’s how much I like you. And you’re not stupid! Allowing yourself to think that is something we have to work on. Together. You and me.”
He was going to say more as his emotions had been building while he was talking, but he suddenly couldn’t because there was a 90-pound flesh-and-blood boy attached to him, one who was squeezing the air out of him. Alec’s only thought was, it was now or never, and as Joel’s face was about two inches from his own, he had no problem bringing his lips to Joel’s. He kissed him.
««« »»»
Alec hated doing so, but he was facing toward where the ground crew sat, and he saw someone approaching: Kevin. He was still over 60 yards away, but still . . .
“Joel! Kevin’s coming!”
Joel jumped back, panicking. Alec stepped over next to him and had Joel turn to face Kevin. Alec was smiling. Joel looked like the world was about to end.
Kevin was very close to the same size and weight as Alec and Joel. He had ash-blond hair and an engaging smile as he strode toward the two boys. He was dressed similarly to them in a tee shirt, shorts and sneakers. Arriving, he said, “Hi! I’m Kevin. Kevin Masters. You told my dad I could come hang with you two. That was the best news ever! It’s boring hanging with the grounds crew, guys who are all older than me. I’m not any good at football; I hope that doesn’t matter. Watching you guys, I saw how much fun you were having. And, hey. Don’t worry about the kiss. I’m so, so jealous. That’s what I want, to kiss someone or someone to kiss me. I’m gay, too—well, ‘too’ if you guys are—and I’ve seen you here, Alec, and I’ve been trying to think of a way to meet you. From the first time I saw you, I haven’t been able to think of anything else.”
Without stopping to take a breath, he turned to Joel and continued with, “You lucky dog. But then, he is, too. You’re both gorgeous and just what I want. I want a boyfriend! You guys are, aren’t you? Are you out? If not, don’t worry about me. My dad is homophobic. If he found out I was gay, I’d probably be shipped off to a distant uncle in Montana and end up having to learn how to shear sheep. There’s no way I’d ever out anyone, and I sure can’t be out myself.”
He’d have kept going, but Alec jumped in. “Whoa! Relax. Breathe.” He laughed when he saw Kevin start to blush. “You’re going to be great with us. Except when Joel and I are alone together, neither of us talk much, and you’ll be able to fill the silences.”
“I do that,” Kevin said. “I mean, talk too much. Some of it is that I’m with the grounds crew all the time, and they talk together about adult crap—what bar has the cheapest draft, what girl did what to him last night and how great her tits were—and I have nothing to say to them. So when I get the chance to talk, maybe I spout off a little too much.”
“No problem. I’m Alec, as you know, and my . . . it’s the first time I’ve ever said this to anyone, but my boyfriend’s name is Joel.”
He explained what they were going to do, each of them getting a chance to play each position. He stressed the no-contact rule. They started out with Joel at QB, Alec running patterns and Kevin defending.
They played for a good 45 minutes. What surprised Alec was how fast Joel was. He didn’t catch everything thrown to him, but he was open all the time because Kevin couldn’t keep up with him, and some of those passes that were missed weren’t his fault.
Kevin was right; he wasn’t very good. He made up for it with high spirits and lots of laughter. Just the fact he was out playing with two other guys his age, running in the sun, free as a bird, away from his dad, made it the best time he’d had recently. He could throw pretty well but wasn’t fast and couldn’t get open, so didn’t catch many passes.
Alec was excited about how well Joel was doing. He ran like a deer, probably from all the running he’d done in gym, and was throwing and catching like he’d been doing it all his life. Alec didn’t know yet whether it had dawned on Joel that he wasn’t the mess he thought he was. It probably would take some time and more successes before that kicked in. But Alec could see the strides Joel was making, and he knew that as they continued playing and Joel kept getting better, things would change for him and his attitude would, too, even if it didn’t happen immediately.
The last play they ran, Alec was at QB and Joel running a route. Alec called for number nine. That was a variation of number three: run up the middle, stop where he was, fake right or left and then, instead of going to one side of the other, run directly back toward the passer. Number nine was the same, except after stopping, the receiver was to spin around and continue running straight up the field. Joel spun, ran past Kevin, and Alec lofted the ball high in the air so Joel could run under it. Joel did so, never broke stride, and caught the ball in front of him as it came down where he could simply reach out and snag it.
Joel whooped in glee. It was a perfect play. Kevin had stopped running early, knowing he could never catch Joel.
Joel ran back, laughing with pure pleasure, and flopped down on the grass near Alec. Alec joined him on the ground, and then Kevin was there, too.
“You were wonderful,” Alec told Joel, admiration ringing in his voice.
“Not too bad a pass, either,” Joel said seriously, and then broke out laughing again.
They lay on the grass in various stages of exhaustion. Alec complimented Kevin for doing his best and for how fine the field was, and Kevin enjoyed the praise. He said, “I hope we can do this again. Best day I’ve had here!”
They made plans for what time to meet the next day and then went up to lunch together.
««« »»»
Entering the cafeteria, Kevin stopped and pulled the other two aside. “I always eat with Baker Evans.” He pointed to a kid their age sitting alone, reading a book as he ate. Alec hadn’t noticed him before. “He’s the son of one of the cooks. He’s awfully shy, but I think he might be gay. The problem is, I can’t let him know I am until I know if he is, and it’s like pulling teeth even to get him to talk. But I’m making progress. Yesterday, I even managed to get him to close his book. Kept his finger in it to save his place, but he did close it.
“I can’t mention anything about being gay as it might get back to my dad. So, it’s slow-going, but I like what I know about him so far.”
Alec chuckled. “Good luck. See you on the grass tomorrow.” Then he and Joel went through the line together. Joel had never been there before and was wide-eyed, seeing everything.
“My dad’s just starting his lunch. That’s him over there, sitting by himself,” Alec said, pointing out his dad to Joel. “Let’s eat with him. You want to meet him, and this is a good chance. Look, I know you get uptight when meeting strangers, especially men, but he’s as down to earth as he can get. He knows I’m gay. I’d like to tell him the great news about us. He knows I’ve been searching for a boyfriend. He doesn’t even tease me about it. But there’s no way I’ll say anything about that, or even mention ‘gay’, unless you approve. What do you think?”
Alec was glad Joel didn’t go into his shell. He’d made great progress in a short time. Maybe Alec’s strong support was a factor in that.
“I don’t know.”
“He’s fine with me being gay, and he’ll be happy I’ve found someone. He’ll be on your side right from the start. You want to talk baseball with him, and he’ll take you more seriously if he knows I like you.”
“I don’t know,” Joel repeated. “I’ll see how it goes. Somehow, I’m not as scared as I should be. I think that’s because I’m with you.”
They filled their trays and walked over to where Hubbard was sitting.
Alec was in front and, after approaching the table, he said, “Hi, Dad. Okay if we sit with you?”
“Of course. Sit down and introduce me to your friend.”
“This is Joel; Joel, this is my dad, Hubbard Rafferty.”
Mr. Rafferty was still sitting, but he was wearing a welcoming smile and motioned the boys to sit down becore reaching across and offering his hand to Joel to shake.
Joel almost never had had occasion to shake anyone’s hand. He did so, but worried immediately if his grip was too soft, too tentative, too timid. If so, Mr. Rafferty didn’t comment on it other than saying, “Pleased to meet you, Joel.”
“Dad, Joel has an incredible memory. He knows every player on every major league team and even something about them. He said he was dying to talk to you about the Otters. Do you have any objections to that? Joel tends sometimes to be just a little shy, and he’s probably hating that I started him off with you this way. Anyway, he’s now a good friend of mine, a very good one, and you’ll probably be seeing lots of him.”
“Well, that’s great, Alec. I’m glad you’ve found someone like that.” Then he turned to Joel. “Wow, you really know all the players? I can’t even do that without looking them up. Can I test you on one, just to embarrass me?” He beamed at him and didn’t sound anything but friendly.
“Sure.” Joel said. Alec was surprised. Joel didn’t sound nearly as intimidated as he expected. Maybe that was because this was one of the few areas where Joel had a lot of confidence, and talking to the Otters’ GM was something of a dream come true for him.
“Okay. How about, say, the Miami Marlins, first base.”
“Carlos Rivera, Cuban, four years in the majors, hit .239 last year but had 86 RBI. Decent defensively but only average.”
“My lord! That’s amazing. You know them all?”
“I read a lot, and I can remember what I read.”
“You’re very special then. Alec says you’re interested in the Otters. That probably means you, like everyone else, are thinking about what trades I should make?”
“Yes,” Joel agreed, then blushed. “But thinking about it, talking about it, making recommendations, and then actually doing it with the man in charge, I, uh . . . well, I’ve always wanted to, but now, facing you, I think doing that would be very rude. I mean, this is your job, and I’m a kid.”
Mr. Rafferty remained congenial. He had his approachability down to a science. “Not at all, Joel. Everyone has their opinions. I like to hear yours. You probably have a lot to say, but if you do, you’ll starve to death. Why don’t you give me one suggestion, and you can eat while I talk about it?”
“All right. If you’re sure I won‘t be stepping on your toes. It’s a little embarrassing that I’m thinking I could possibly know as much about this as you do.”
“No way, as you kids say. Who should we trade, who could we expect to get back, and how would that help the club?”
Joel was nervous, but he so wanted to do this. He was excited. He paused to collect himself so he wouldn’t trip all over his words, then set out talking.
“Okay. You’re weak at second base, and because your guy there, Sanders, is holding out for more money, you could think of replacing him rather than keeping him. You need a right-handed reliever, so that would be a good swap, but it creates a hole at second. Sanders is probably a better-than-average defensive player, but hits about .230 at best and isn’t an RBI threat. Some clubs can cover that if the rest of the club is above-average offensively, but the Otters aren’t one of those. You need a defensive second baseman who can hit.”
He stopped to take a drink of water. Alec loved seeing the enthusiasm in Joel’s eyes. He hadn’t seen that before. It was like Joel had come to life.
Joel swallowed and continued. “Neither better-than-average second basemen nor relief pitchers are positions easily filled by players who have major league experience without giving up talent you want to keep or by paying a fortune in the free-agent market. So, how do you solve that problem?”
He didn’t pause for an answer. “Here’s what I’d recommend. Forgive me if I sound too eager and too cocky. It’s just that I love figuring this sort of thing out. So, who could you trade to get what you want that wouldn’t hurt you much, where in fact you’d get a net gain? You have two guys you could move that would accomplish that: Worth and Sanders. Worth’s a good catcher, better than average defensively, but he doesn’t play much because you have Bauer, and Worth doesn’t hit much. So Worth would be good trade bait for a team that needs a catcher. Good catchers are valuable quantities.”
After he said that, he put his hand over his mouth. “Oops. You know that. Sorry.”
“You’re doing fine. Go ahead.”
“That brings us to the Rangers. They’re desperate for a good catcher, and how he hits is immaterial to them. So, if we give them Worth, what can they give us back? They only have one guy that fills a need for us who they’d be willing to trade: Ted Margrave, a relief pitcher who’s right-handed. We’d like to get him. That fills the need for a relief pitcher, but there’s still second base to take care of.
“So, how do we find a second baseman who can hit? What team needs a good defensive second baseman and doesn’t care if he doesn’t hit much? That’s not the Rangers. The Braves, like the Rangers, have all the offense they need, but they have a mediocre defensive guy, Rodgers, at second, and would like to improve there defensively.
“Here’s what I propose: a three-way trade. You give Sanders to the Braves for Juan Arroyo. He’s a prospect at second; he had a little time in the majors last year and did well. He’s young, only 19, but it looks like the sky’s the limit for him. He’ll probably hit—he has wherever he’s played in the minors—and is an ace defensively. The Braves are trying to win it all this year and want a proven infielder at second. They’d love to have Sanders, who’s much better there than Rodgers. They’d almost certainly trade Arroyo for him.
“That leaves them with their current second sacker, Rogers, being available. They have money invested in him, and they’d love to get value for him in a trade, but he’d be no help to you at all. What their other need is—they don’t have a leftie in the bullpen. Who has one to spare? The Rangers. Their bullpen is stocked!
“So we’ve already decided to ship Worth to Texas. They also need a better second baseman than they now have. And if the Braves get Sanders from you, they have Rodgers they can send to Texas for one of their needs, Ron Toms, a left-handed reliever.
“All three teams fill their needs and you solve two problems: getting a second baseman, a prospect who has shown he should hit to replace Sanders, and a right-handed reliever. You do this while only giving up a non-hitting second baseman and a backup catcher.”
He stopped and looked at Mr. Rafferty with eager eyes. They began to dim as Mr. Rafferty didn’t respond as enthusiastically as he’d hoped.
“Joel,” he finally said. “That is astounding. Incredible. You thought that all out by yourself?”
A little sheepishly now, Joel just nodded.
Mr. Rafferty smiled at him. “Are you free for dinner tonight? Can you come eat with us? I want to get to know you better. I’m afraid I’m not the world’s greatest cook. But anyone can cook a steak, and I can buy three of those on the way home. I’d like to hear some more of your ideas.”
“Uh, sure, I guess. My dad won’t mind. But, uh, what about the trade?”
“Oh, that? Here, I just finished this.” He handed a piece of paper to Joel.
“What is this?” Joel asked.
“A press release I just faxed to the Portland Tribune. It announces a three team trade that was just finalized a few minutes ago. It’s all the players you just named. You nailed it. Exactly as you stated it.”
Posted 29 March 2025