Because he was being pushed and pulled, congratulated and trash-talked after the game, and because Mitt Glover kept wanting to go over certain pitches to certain batters, including the fastball to Oscar Starret in the 8th—he’d wanted it up and out of the strike zone—Tanner didn’t get done with his shower till late. Most of the guys were gone by then. The only one remaining was Jersey.
Tanner said, “Hey,” as he was walking to his locker where Jersey was sitting. He felt a little odd; he was naked walking toward Jersey, who was dressed. He’d been naked in locker rooms thousands of times, and except when he was getting used to it at the very first back in high school, he hadn’t had a problem with it. Now, though, with Jersey right there, he managed to wrap the towel around his waist to prevent the unwanted excitement he was feeling from being obvious.
“Hey, Tanner. I wanted to thank you without everyone else around. That was very . . . well, noble, of you is the word that comes to mind, even if it sounds a bit over the top, but it’s what I feel about how you took Starret out like you did. It felt like you did that specifically for me. I’ve played in some places where the fans can get weird, nasty weird, so it isn’t the first time I’ve heard words like that. Never from an opposing player, though, and I’ve certainly never had a teammate stand up for me like that before. It stunned me, you doing that. I wanted you to know how much I appreciate the gesture.”
Tanner looked down. He’d never become accustomed to such sincere and personal praise. It always embarrassed him. “That’s okay. Pissed me off is what he did, sliding like that, trying to spike you. And then what he said. He deserved what I did and more. I’m glad I was in the right place to do something. I know I might get suspended; I’m sure the league will review it. But whatever the outcome, I did what needed to be done, and I don’t regret it. I hope reason and fairness will out.”
Jersey was looking at him with something in his eyes, but Tanner couldn’t read what it was. It was emotional and strong, and Tanner turned away, not sure how to interpret it or to respond.
“Okay,” Jersey said. “Well, I guess I’ll go.” He stood up and turned toward the exit, and Tanner said, “Wait. Where are you staying?”
It turned out that they both were at the same hotel, which was only a short walk from the stadium, and they ended up walking there together. Once there, they decided to have a drink in the lounge before saying goodnight. They both had soft drinks. Neither was of legal drinking age yet.
Tanner went to sleep that night with visions in his head of a very handsome blond boy not yet of legal age. He fell asleep in a very happy mood.
««« »»»
The morning papers were full of Tanner’s exploits on the mound and on the field. The paper was trying to interview him with questions about his attack on Starret, the whys and wherefores of what he did, and both radio and TV wanted him on the air with their morning programming. The phone in his hotel room was constantly ringing, and he finally told the switchboard to screen his calls. He asked that please, no more calls be put through from any of the media.
He called Alec. “Help,” he said. “I’m being bombarded by the press. I need to get away where they can’t find me. Any suggestions?”
“Sure.” Alec was grinning. He had an idea, and Tanner was playing right into his hands. “Meet me at the stadium. I’ll be done with my job by 11. Come find me in the clubhouse. Wear shorts, a tee and sneakers. You can wear a disguise—I’d suggest a hat—if you wish.”
“You sound very specific. What do you have in mind?”
“You’ll find out at 11. See ya.” Alec disconnected.
Tanner smiled. He was so fond of Alec. The boy had changed his life, and it was all for the better.
He arrived at the stadium at 11, said hi to Hank at the door, and made his way to the clubhouse. He found Alec finishing up with the room and another boy—who was named Leo —kibitzing. Joel was there, too, laughing at the other two as they bantered back and forth.
Alec finished, Leo left, and Alec told Tanner what they were going to do. “We’re going to throw a Nerf football around. Actually, you’re going to play defense, just you against us. Since you’re bigger and older and a better athlete, it won’t be much of a contest—you’ll cream us—but it should be fun. The only rule is, no contact with either of us. You can guard us, you can get in our way, but you can’t initiate contact. That’s because we’re very fragile, and you’re a rugged pro athlete who starts fights in games and we aren’t and don’t.”
Tanner laughed and had the grace to blush. But then he reacted. “Fragile?! You seem to be the least fragile boy I know!”
“Well, I am,” Joel interjected. “We’ve been playing this for some time now, and that’s the rule Alec put in place to get me to play. I’m a little less scared now, but that rule is one of the reasons for that. You’ll see how it works.”
They climbed out of the subterranean dungeons where the clubhouse was located and headed out onto the field. Alec asked Joel who should QB first, and Joel said he wanted to.
They were still using the numbers for the plays they ran. Joel was the better receiver because he was faster. Alec was probably slightly better at QB, maybe because he tended to play that role more than Joel did and so had added experience.
They started with their regular arsenal, quick out patterns to either side. Tanner assumed it would be easy to defend and decided he’d let them catch enough to feel good about themselves. There was no doubt in his mind he could knock down any pass they tried to complete.
He was wrong. He’d played linebacker in high school so knew how to defend against receivers, but he’d never been limited by the no-contact rule. When Alec did his fake one way and then cut the other, Tanner had no problem staying with him. He was faster than Alec due to longer legs and the great shape he was in, but the passes were always in front of Alec, and Tanner was behind him. Any passes that weren’t caught were because they were too far in front, not because Tanner could knock them down.
They played for ten minutes with Joel at QB. Alec was exhausted by then. One of their favorite plays was the number- three route, where Alec would run up the middle, fake one way or another, but stop and then run back toward the QB with the ball already on its way toward him. It was designed to stop the defensive back from cheating on one of the receiver’s fakes and getting a jump on his route. Number-three caught Tanner unaware as he was moving in the opposite direction of the fake every time.
They took a break when Alec said he was beat. They sat in the grass and ended up kidding Tanner mercilessly. By then, Joel was good at trash talk, and he took advantage of this new skill against his brother. Tanner took it in good stride, but he was at heart a competitor, and while he could laugh with them, getting beat time after time by 15-year-olds didn’t sit well with him.
They resumed with Alec QB-ing. Tanner was determined to knock down some passes this time. He’d try hard to obey the no-contact rule, but still, he wanted to show these guys how well a good linebacker could play. They started off with more of the shorter routes. Tanner quickly saw the difference between Joel and Alec. Joel was faster! Alec called the number three play a few times, and Tanner was always caught off guard as before. He was trying not to get pissed.
Then Alec called the number nine, where Joel would fake the number three, make a quick pivot and go deep. This would be harder for Alec because Tanner was taller, and he might be able to knock down the flatter passes they usually threw with this route.
Joel had been trash talking Tanner with every pass he caught. He couldn’t believe he was beating his brother. He’d never been able to do that at anything athletic before. He was letting his success go to his head, and when Alec was calling the number nine in the huddle before running the play, he spoke to Joel.
“You got to ease up on the taunting. It’s getting to him. He hasn’t been able to defend a single pass all day, and it’s becoming a pride issue. I can see he’s upset; look at his face. You’ll see it, too. You’re taking this teasing way too far, and it isn’t very nice. This is supposed to be fun, and he’s not having much fun at all. We don’t want to hurt his feelings, and that’s what’s happening. You need to apologize to him. Maybe after this play.”
They got ready for the next play, Alec called, “Hike!” Joel tossed him the ball and went out the seven steps used with the number three and nine routes. He faked left, then came back one step toward Alec, who faked throwing the pass. Joel pivoted and took off straight upfield.
Tanner read the play as the comeback pass they’d been running, and he stayed with Joel as he took his step toward Alec, stayed right alongside Joel, in perfect position to knock the ball down or even intercept it. He was caught flatfooted by Joel pivoting and going deep. Too late, he took chase.
Alec still had to loft the ball higher than usual, and prayed he wasn’t throwing it too short or long. In fact, it was perfect. Joel didn’t have to break stride and caught the ball in front of him, reaching out and letting it fall into his hands.
That was when Tanner broke the rules. He was both angry and proud and laughing. How could he not be impressed with his brother? The kid was as fast as he was, maybe even faster, and seemed to be able to catch everything thrown to him. Tanner was beaten fair and square, and he knew it. So, what did he do? When Joel caught the ball and had taken one more stride, Tanner dove at him. He tackled Joel from behind.
Joel was shocked. It was the first time since they’d been playing Nerf ball that he’d been touched. This wasn’t a touch, it was a tackle, and he hit the ground with Tanner holding on to him.
He was immediately pissed. He jerked loose, turned to yell at Tanner, and saw him laughing. That took the steam out of Joel, who could only watch him as he laughed. Joel realized the tackle hadn’t hurt him at all and remembered the scolding he’d had from Alec. Maybe this was payback. He also realized one of the major reasons he’d always felt so worthless was that he’d been comparing himself to Tanner all his life, never rising to his brother’s competence in the comparisons. Now, he had beaten him all day at football. Football, of all things!
He no longer had to feel inferior. Just as Alec had been telling him over and over. Maybe now he could finally fully believe in himself. This was a revelation for him. It was life-changing in its impact and simplicity.
He was the first to speak while Tanner was still laughing. “I’m so sorry for all that trash talk. That isn’t me. I have no idea why I was acting like that. Alec told me it was upsetting you. I was so into myself, I never gave it a thought. I’m never that way, and I’m ashamed I didn’t notice.”
Tanner shook his head. “How did Alec know? I’m sure I wasn’t showing anything. You learn as an athlete not to show emotions, not to give your opponent an edge.”
“I don’t know half of how Alec can be like he is. But since I’ve known him, he’s always been like he is. Insightful is part of it.
“I love him, Tanner. He says he loves me, and I’ve never understood why. He saw things in me, things I wasn’t aware were there.”
“I’ve seen that with him, too,” Tanner replied. “You’re so lucky. I’m lucky to know him, too. But let’s talk about you. You’re amazing. I know you don’t like confrontations or rough stuff. And I apologize for tackling you, but you’d humiliated me all day and I just had to get some of my own back. I tried not to hurt you. I didn’t, did I?”
“Actually, you probably helped me. I now know I can play a little rougher without it being a problem. I didn’t know that. I was simply afraid.”
“I’ll tell you a secret,” Tanner said. “Everyone is scared before they do something new. By doing it, they learn what to be afraid of and what they can handle. Just like now. That’s why youth sport is so important in building self-esteem. There are so many things you learn not to be afraid of.”
By then, Alec had joined them. He’d been worried about Joel’s reaction to being tackled and was happy to see he wasn’t bothered at all.
He joined the conversation, admitting, “I’m still afraid, well, nervous, about confrontations. If someone starts yelling or criticizing, I tend to go into my shell.”
“Really?” Tanner’s face showed he didn’t accept that. “I heard a rumor that you stood up to Eli, and I’ve heard that no one was better at confronting people and putting them in their place than he was.”
“Well, he made me mad, and I had the upper ground when he was yelling at me. He needed me, and I didn’t need him.”
“So maybe that’s your answer. If there’s a confrontation, think of where you have an advantage and then exploit it. Sure, get nervous when it starts, anyone would, but keep thinking. If anyone is good at that, it’s you.”
Alec looked down, hoped he wasn’t blushing, and quickly changed the subject to last night’s game. “I waited awhile after the game, but I didn’t see either you or Jersey come out. I finally thought maybe it would be good to make myself scarce and caught a ride home with Dad. What was that delay all about?”
Tanner had a look on his face that Alec could only describe as sublime. “I have to tell you guys something,” Tanner said, his eyes looking dreamy. “I might have . . . at least, I think I have found the someone I’ve been looking for. Jersey and I really hit it off. We walked back to the hotel together, and we talked for a long time. You know, he has those boy-idol looks, and it’s great to be attracted to someone by their looks, but you need a lot more than that for a fulfilling relationship. You need common interests, a shared sense of a lot of things, but personalities that are similar, especially values that are similar. I think that’s the case with Jersey and me. It’s way early, but man, I think there’s a good chance for us to, well, get together.”
Joel asked, “Have you told him you’re gay?”
“No. I want to. The problem is, if I just blurt it out, I think it’ll sound like a come-on, that I’m mainly interested in him for sex. That’d be a huge turnoff for him; I think he has the same feelings in that regard that I do. I’m just picking up vibes, but it seems that way. But if he sees that as a come-on, I don’t see how to recover from it, how to convince him that that isn’t me at all.
“I do know I can’t go very long without telling him, but I have to find the right moment. Hopefully, I’ll recognize it when it comes.”
Alec was silent, thinking, then smiled. “I might have an idea.”
««« »»»
Alec’s plan was simple: Jersey had to be at loose ends during the day much as Tanner was. So, Tanner could tell him that Alec and Joel needed some competition at the Nerf football games they were playing. The two boys who had joined them before weren’t available now, and Alec had asked Tanner to get another guy to play with them so they’d have four. Tanner could tell Jersey he’d chosen him.
“How’s that going to help?” Tanner asked.
“Come on! You two guys on opposite sides, both athletic, both competitive. You’re both going to be going for the same passes. There’s bound to be contact. Now I’m not going to tell you how to use that contact to your best advantage. That’s up to you, but I know I’ve gotten a lot closer to Joel by playing this game, gotten to see sides to him I didn’t know about. If you want to get closer to Jersey, if you want to find an occasion to tell him you’re gay, I’d say this is the perfect venue for that.”
The next day, the game was on. Jersey had jumped at the chance to spend more time with Tanner, and he liked both the younger boys, so he was happy to join them. Tanner told him that they needed to go a little gently with the boys who didn’t like rough contact, but he’d assumed it would be war with the two of them. Jersey smiled.
They started off with Tanner and Alec together, then switched to Tanner with Joel. Joel wasn’t faster than Jersey, something that surprised him till he remembered how many bases Jersey had stolen already. He tried to guard Jersey, but he found that being as fast as Jersey wasn’t everything; Jersey was also taller, and as long as Alec kept the passes to Jersey high, Joel couldn’t knock them down.
When Alec was teamed with Tanner the second time, Alec was the QB, Tanner the receiver, matched up against Jersey on defense.
Jersey was quicker than Tanner, making it difficult for them to complete passes. Jersey started to rib Tanner, and Tanner gave it back with the same humor.
Alec was getting frustrated with Jersey knocking down his passes by jumping the routes Tanner was running. He told Tanner to run the play Joel had beaten him on by faking short and going deep, the number-nine play .
Tanner did a stop and go move, Jersey bit on the fake and came in fast, and Tanner went the other way, four steps ahead of Jersey. The problem was, Jersey was fast enough to catch up, so Alec threw the ball earlier than he’d have liked, lofting it high as he’d done with Joel.
It was a perfect bomb, and Tanner caught it out in front of him just as Jersey caught up to him. And, just as Tanner had done, Jersey tackled him, yelling, “I got you, you lucky son of a bitch,” then laughing as Tanner had done.
At that point, Tanner had rolled over and was lying on his back. Jersey was lying on top of him. He was looking in Tanner’s face, and he slowly stopped laughing. He said, “I suppose I should get off you. You can’t be happy having a gay guy sprawling all over you.”
Tanner was looking into Jersey’s eyes, and instead of saying yeah, get off, he said, “Since the gay guy is you, stay right where you are. This is a good time to tell you that I’m gay, too, and I’m in the early stages of falling for you. Probably deeply and thoroughly.”
“You’re gay?”
“Yep, and looking as hard as I can for a partner. I’m choosy, but I know what I want. I’ve been attracted to you since we met. Physically, of course, but also with everything else about you. We don’t know each other well, but so far, you’re perfect. I think we fit. I’m looking forward to learning more.”
“What you just said. Me, too. Even more. How’d we get so lucky?”
Tanner pointed a finger at Alec, who was still back where he’d been when he threw the pass, calling for Joel to join him. “Believe it or not, probably luck had less to do with it than Alec did.”
“Hold still!”
“You’re choking me!”
“Because you’re not standing still.”
Alec and Joel quarreled a lot these days. They were so comfortable with each other, neither took offense. It was like miniature confrontations, and both had learned how to handle them with aplomb.
They were both dressing in tuxes, and even though the white bowties were pre-tied and only had to be clipped to the winged collars of their shirts, neither boy was accustomed to having the top button buttoned, and neither liked it.
They were to be joint best men. Not Joel for his brother and Alec for Jersey. Both men wanted each for his best man, and it was settled that they’d both be for both. Both would stand beside Tanner when he was giving his vows, then move to be beside Jersey for his.
It would be what the newspapers were calling an extravaganza of a wedding, the largest ever held in Portland. Perhaps anywhere, but no one had wanted to research it. It was huge because it was being held in Willamette Stadium to a packed house. At home plate. With teammates across from each other holding bats up creating a tunnel for them to walk through.
The boys were dressing in their finery at the house Tanner and Jersey had purchased. They’d pooled their money and bought a mansion not far from the Rafferty house. Joel now lived there; his father had been offered a promotion that required extensive travel, and Tanner had said he’d love to have Joel stay with him while his dad was away. Joel’s dad had accepted the promotion, and Joel was a fixture at the new house.
Of course, where Joel stayed, Alec frequently stayed as well. The four of them got on perfectly together. The boys were 16 now and while they’d already been mature for their ages, they were more so now. Alec was no longer cleaning the clubhouse and locker room. He was jobless at the moment. Joel, on the other hand, was working as a summer trainee in Hubbard’s office. He planned to make a career in baseball administration.
Alec wasn’t sure what he’d do after college, but he was making good use of his spare time by studying. He planned on being valedictorian, which at Grant High School, the top academic school in the state, would be quite an achievement. He thought he had a good chance. He was sitting comfortably with the third highest GPA in his class going into his junior year and had lots of time to crawl to the top. Taking a lot of advnced-placement classes was part of his plan.
He figured he had a good chance to reach his goal. He’d learned in the past several months that when he put his mind to something, good things tended to happen.
He checked his watch, then asked, “You about ready? You know how Tanner gets if he has to wait for anything.”
“I want to look the best I can!” Joel grumbled, fussing in front of the mirror. He never thought his hair was quite right. Alec teased him that he could shave it all off and still be the most handsome kid in the city and probably the state.
Alec watched him. He was in a funny mood, perhaps brought on by the upcoming nuptials. The world kept moving forward, kept changing. He thought about his plans to achieve his goal at school and how his junior year would go; the semester would begin shortly. He thought about the wedding which was about to happen, then mused out loud, “I’ve never given marriage a thought. Too young I guess, too much going on. You ever think about marriage?”
Joel stopped fussing and turned to Alec. “Are you proposing?”
“No! Well, of course not!” Seeing Joel frown, he hurried on. “Oh, don’t take it that way, I was just . . . well, it just occurred to me that’s something ahead of us. There’s a lot to think about in the future, and we’ve never even mentioned it. What’re your thoughts? I haven’t considered it; that’s for older people; but you know, that’s a possibility out there in front of us. I don’t know about you, but I can’t imagine loving anyone more than I do you, and I don’t think that’ll change. We’re together like we’re attached at the hip anyway. Marriage wouldn’t change anything.”
“Sure, it would.” Joel twisted a bang to the side, then frowned and moved it back where it had been. “Married, I’d be stuck with you and couldn’t play the field. There’re so many cute boys out there, and me, stuck with you? That’d take some serious consideration. Look at everything I’d be giving up.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Alec was trying to make his voice sound sincere, but his grin was defeating his purpose; he loved that Joel could tease him now. It had never seemed a possibility when he’d first met him. “I should be free to play the field, too. I might meet the perfect mate at college. Wouldn’t want my hands tied.”
Joel moved to be directly in front of Alec and put his hands on his shoulders. They were face to face, Alec only inches away from him. “I’ve already met my perfect mate, and no way I’m letting him go,” Joel said, his voice as forceful and emphatic as he could make it. Then he kissed him.
That turned into something else as it frequently did, and worrying about being in a hurry suddenly was forgotten.
Tanner would have to wait.
THE END
Posted 23 April 2025