The train ride was a first for both boys. Tanner had tried to make seat reservations for them when buying their tickets but found that only one Seattle-Portland train, the Coast Starlight, had reserved seats, and that wasn’t the train they were on. That was fine with the boys; they liked being able to sit where the wanted. The train was only about half full, and they walked through the cars, just getting a feel for where they’d be for the next few hours and feeling the excitement of something new where they’d be on their own.
A conductor asked them when they boarded if they’d like him to take care of their suitcases. They were happy to oblige. The man gave them a claim ticket to use and told them where to go to get them back at their journey’s end.
They walked through the train and decided to sit in the observation car. They were due to arrive in downtown Seattle at King Street Station at two PM. Tanner would meet them there, take them to their hotel to get registered, and then three would then go to the T-Mobile stadium together. The plan was for them to spend the night in Seattle, then much of the next day with Tanner until he had to head to the stadium. They’d take the train home, getting in around nine in the evening.
The train ride was romantic. The sound of the wheels on the tracks, the vibrations they felt through their seats, the slight rocking of the train—they all gave an ambience that stirred their emotions. The boys chatted for a time, but neither of them was garrulous, and eventually Joel pulled out a book he’d brought. Alec just used the time to think.
He had to decide what to do about Tanner. He knew he had to inform Tanner that he had a tell. It was complicated, and the complication was his, not Tanner’s, but Tanner had a right to know why Alec had waited this long to let him know he could be giving away his pitches. Having the time to think this through as the train pushed north, he came to a decision. He was going to tell all and let the chips fall where they may. It was scary doing that, but it was the only way he could feel honest, and that was important to him.
They were riding through beautiful country, and Alec gazed out at Mt. Ranier off to his right as he pondered. Occasionally he’d see something spectacular and interrupt Joel’s reading to point it out to him. He found it interesting that the two of them could be as comfortable as they were and be silent when together; a lot of kids their age couldn’t abide silence. Most kids together in a group seemed to be waiting their turn to have the floor. Alec realized he liked it this way better. This was just another way the two fit so well.
He also took the time to ask Joel if he wanted to stay with Tanner and him, all three of them together in the hotel room. Joel looked at him, obviously thinking, then said, “Two rooms. One for him, the other for us.” And then he blushed.
Alec giggled. “I’m so happy you said that. Damn! You know, you’re not as shy and reserved as you were. You’re starting to say what you’re feeling. That tells me you have more confidence in yourself now. You should! You’re great, Joel! You know that? I think you’re starting to feel that.”
“That’s only because of you,” Joel said.
As they neared King Street Station, Alec saw Joel getting nervous. “It’s okay. You’ll like Tanner. He really wants to meet you, get to know you. He thought you didn’t like him! You can put that to rest in a hurry. Just be yourself, the version you are with me and with my dad. He’ll love you. And you him. He’s wonderful. He’s real, not like a lot of star athletes who think they’re better than normal people or should be held in awe and treated like royalty. He’s not stuck up at all. You’re going to really like him.”
“I’m more worried about him liking me!”
“Joel, you’re wonderful. He’ll see that right away. Anyway, the train’s stopping. We need to get our suitcases. Tanner said he’d be waiting inside the station near the Starbucks there.”
They had no problem collecting their luggage and made their way into the terminal. There was a huge sign for Starbucks, and they made their way to it through the crowd.
“Alec!”
They heard the voice and turned to it. Tanner was hurrying to them. He stopped just before them, winked at Alec, then turned full-face toward Joel, who, in his accustomed manner, had stopped a little behind Alec. Tanner gently nudged Alec aside and hugged Joel.
Joel stiffened at first but then melted into Tanner’s embrace.
Tanner, his arms still around Joel, whispered in his ear, “I’m so happy you’re here. I have so much to say to you. I want to know how you met and got to know Alec. He’s very special. I hope you’re good friends. You’ll never meet a better one.”
He released Joel, then hugged Alec. It was much briefer. “You’ve got your bags, so let’s go. We have time to get to the hotel. I’ll show you my room; it’s got two beds. You can drop off your stuff, we can get a quick snack, and then we can head to the ballpark. It’s no more than fifteen minutes from here, ten from the hotel.”
Alec felt a little nervous about saying what he needed to say. He hated the idea of hurting Tanner’s feelings. But this was important, and he had to do the right thing, scary or not.
“Tanner, we decided we want our own room. Sorry. Nothing about or against you. It’s all about Joel and me; we’re getting to know each other. It’s . . . it’s still early days, and it’s better this way. Tomorrow you’ll have lots of time to get to know Joel, and by the time the game’s over tonight and we’re back at the hotel, if we’re all in your room, we’d be too beat to talk much then, anyway.”
“No problem, but. . . well, I know you’re gay. I know you were looking for a boyfriend. I guess this is something else to talk about tomorrow.”
“We will.”
««« »»»
They took a cab to the hotel, and Tanner got another room for the two boys. Alec wondered what it was like to have no concerns about how much things cost. Tanner could have anything he wanted. It had to feel strange and must have taken some time to adjust to.
They went to their rooms, used the bathroom, then met for a quick bite to eat in the coffee shop at the hotel. Tanner was bursting with curiosity. “Tell me about yourself, Joel. I’m so glad to see you!”
Joel didn’t seem quite as reserved as he’d been with strangers before. Alec guessed there was enough history with the two that ‘strangers’ was the wrong term for them. However, Joel had told him he’d felt unimportant and unnoticed, like he was of no consequence at all to Tanner, and some of those feelings had to remain even now.
“I’ve been okay. Much better lately since I’ve known Alec.”
“How did you two meet?”
That presented a problem for Joel. Should he tell him he was gay? He didn’t want to, he decided. But the meeting was at a GSA picnic, Tanner knew Alec was gay, so adding two and two should be easy for Tanner, and he wanted to be honest with his brother, come what may.
He was saved by Alec, who saw his consternation and jumped in. “He was in the park, and I was there, too, and a friend of Joel’s introduced us. I told him he looked like you, and he said you were brothers. I like you a lot, Tanner—you know that. There’s some sort of chemistry going on. Well, I’ve gotten to like Joel, too. More than a lot. We’re already best friends.”
Tanner looked at the two of them, then again and longer at Joel, and said, “There’s something I want to ask, but don’t know how to. I don’t want to upset you at all. Alec told me you thought I hated you, and while it wasn’t true, you having that feeling had to be my fault. My senior year, even my junior one, was so hectic; I’m sure I ignored you. It wasn’t intentional, believe me. But I’m sure it had to hurt, and I apologize. We’d been close up till then, and I knew you looked up to me. Yet at that time, I lost focus on family. Right then, it became all about me, and now I can see how wrong that was. I can’t change it; what happened, happened. I regret it now, but that doesn’t excuse it.
“But Joel, I never hated you. You just became less a part of my life because of all the other things going on, and I wasn’t mature enough to see what was going on with you at that time.
“Anyway, I’m past that now. It’s hard for us to spend time together, being a thousand miles apart, but I’ll think about that. And I’ll ask for Alec’s help, also. He comes up with the best ideas; he solves problems like no one I’ve ever met. He’s good at figuring things out.”
Joel was meeting Tanner’s eyes. When Tanner stopped, Joel asked in a very even voice, “What did you want to ask me?”
Tanner frowned but then grinned. “You’re not as quiet as you were when we lived together. You’d never have been able to ask that then.”
Joel looked at him but didn’t respond. Tanner frowned again.
“Okay, I will. First, I’ll tell you about me. I’m gay. And I know Alec is gay. I see you with him, and, well, I think you’re better than best friends, but it’s rude to assume that and ruder still to ask.”
Joel had a very serious face, but it slowly broke into a smile, then a broader, happier smile. “I’m gay, Tanner. And Alec and I are boyfriends. Just recently boyfriends—only yesterday, actually. We’re still getting use to it.”
“Boyfriends! Congratulations! You two are really cute together. I can’t decide which of you is the handsomest.”
“We’d better finish up here. You need to be getting to the ballpark,” Alec said, preventing any more statements of that sort. He was never comfortable getting compliments.
««« »»»
Somehow, Tanner had managed to finagle Alec and Joel Diamond Club seats right behind the plate. That enabled them to partake of the prime rib and salmon buffet before lthe first pitch.
Alec looked at Joel and smiled. “This is like living the high life,” Joel said, looking at the food in wonderment. Maybe I should have tried to be a star baseball or soccer player. I think I blew it.”
“This from the boyu who says he isn’t good at anything athletic.”
“Well, I never tried before you convinced me to, Alec. It’s your fault for not finding me earlier.”
Alec just shook his head. “Dr. Frankstein had nothing on me I guess.”
In their seats just as the pitcher was making his final warmup throws from the mound, Alec took in all the activity on the field, not just the players but how the managers were behaving, the batboys doing their thing, the concessionaires strolling the aisles, the foul ball kids down the line close to the fence, the fans getting seated, the grounds crew manicuring the field between innings. A lot was going on all the time.
The game was tight. Both teams were offense-challenged; both had decent pitching. The game went into the seventh inning with no score. With one out, two Mariners worked the pitcher for walks. With men on first and second, Eli walked to the mound. He waved to the bullpen, and Tanner came out to relieve.
Alec watched him take his allowed eight pitches, and then the Mariners’ next batter stepped into the box.
‘’I can barely stand to watch,” Joel said.
“He’s very good,” Alec said.
Joel didn’t stop fidgeting, his nerves jangling as he watched his brother.
Tanner started with a fastball which nicked the outside corner of the plate for strike one. He hit the inside of the plate with another fastball. Strike two. Alec kept his eye on Tanner’s landing foot. His foot was still pointing straight at the plate when he was throwing a fastball.
His next pitch was a changeup that the catcher wanted just outside. The pitch broke as it should have but stayed over the plate. The batter crushed it, a sharp grounder between second and third just out of the reach of the shortstop, who did manage to get just enough of his glove on it to deflect it. Slowed down, the ball trickled into left field. The third baseman raced after it and picked it up in short left field. He turned and fired it to the shortstop who’d scrambled up and run to cover third. The runner from second had reached third safely but hadn’t been able to score.
Alec shook his head. He’d known a breaking pitch was coming. It seemed possible that the batter had as well. Alec felt that it was his fault. He should have told Tanner he was tipping his pitches, and he should have done it before now.
The next batter dug in; bases loaded, one out. A fly ball would score a run, maybe even the winning run. Tanner started again with a fastball, which was fouled off. Then came a curve that was outside. Then another fastball, over the inside corner. Two strikes and a ball. Alec held his breath. Another fastball, he prayed. The batter hadn’t shown he was able to hit that. But Alec knew he himself would be able to predict what was coming by watching Tanner’s foot. Would the batter also know that?
Tanner shook off the sign he was getting from the catcher, and again a second time. The catcher called time out and trotted out to the mound. He and Tanner had a very brief chat before he returned to his position.
Tanner went into a full windup, then threw a fastball over the inside part of the plate. The batter hit it hard but near the handle of the bat. It went right to the second baseman who started a 4-6-3 double play. The Angels were out of the inning, and Tanner was done for the night.
Tanner didn’t have to stay after that, and he showered and met them outside the Mariners’ visitor’s clubhouse. It was late, and they went back to their hotel.
“I guess you guys want to get to bed, for one reason or another,” Tanner said grinning. “Lucky dogs!”
Joel nodded, blushing. Alec, though, demurred. “Joel, why don’t you go up? I’ll be up in a few, but I need to discuss something with Tanner. Is that all right?”
Joel looked puzzled, but said, “Sure. Hurry. I’ll still be awake.”
“You’d better be,” Alec said, grinning, and all three of them laughed.
Alec was nervous. This was hard, because there was enough of what he had to say that put him in a bad light. But the time had come.
They went to the coffee shop, a 24-hour a day fixture and found a booth. They were the only ones there just after 11 at night. A waitress came over, and Tanner ordered them both a dessert. He ordered coffee for himself. Alec had milk.
“What’s up?”
Alec looked down, then thought it would be more mature to look at Tanner as he spoke to him, and he raised his eyes. “I have something to tell you, and you’ll almost certainly be mad at me for waiting till now. I had reasons, but they were my reasons and this is your affair, and I owed it to you to tell you earlier.”
He stopped to take a bite of his lava cake, and Tanner waited without speaking.
Alec continued. “The day I met you, I was in awe. You were bigger than a star. And as we talked and I got to know you, I really liked you. There seemed to be a chemistry between us right from the start that was undeniable. Okay, well, that’s sort of beside the point, but maybe I’m giving you a reason not to be too mad at me.”
“I can’t imagine being mad at you. If I were 15 like you and Joel, I’d be in that room tonight instead of him.”
“Well, still, I hope you’re not too mad. The thing is, you remember how you wanted to warm up on the mound that day we met, and I caught for you.”
“Of course.”
“I was so happy to do that and enjoyed it. But I learned something I should have told you at the time. I didn’t. But I’ve waited too long. I’ll tell you now.”
Tanner stayed mum, and Alec took a deep breath. “I noticed you were tipping your pitches. You probably aren’t aware of it, but where your front foot lands as you’re throwing the ball reveals if it’s a breaking ball or a fastball.”
Tanner looked shocked, and Alec raced on, trying to get it over with. “I didn’t tell you then for many reasons, some good, some bad, but none of them should have held me back from telling you. It’s your career. You deserved to know.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Alec was expecting to hear anger, but there was only curiosity.
“Okay, I had all these thoughts. Crazy, immature thoughts, but I had them. I felt that you might change your delivery if I told you; in doing so, you could hurt your arm. Then I thought that I should tell my father so the Otters would know; I didn’t do that because it felt like betrayal, I liked you, and this was something that someone in the organization, the pros, should have picked up; it wasn’t my responsibility, even to my father.”
Tanner was going to speak, but Alec felt he had to say this now or never, and he rushed on. “There was more. I kept thinking about all the scenarios that might happen. But I was uncertain, and you’ve now seen that some teams appear to have caught on to the tell. Your first time pitching relief against any team was spectacular. Then look at tonight. That batter who hit into a double play—it looked to me like he had a good idea what was coming. He was expecting a fastball and he got one. It was fast enough and tight enough that he couldn’t do much with it, even knowing it was coming. You’re still a great pitcher.
“But that’s another reason. I thought if you got hit often, you might get sent down to the minors for more training. That was awful of me, hoping you’d get sent down when I might have been able to prevent it. Why didn’t I? Because Dad had told me about the MLB Rule 5 which says you have to clear waivers to be sent down. If the Angels did that, it would be because they’d expect no one would pick you up off the waiver list because of all the money you are owed that they’d have to pay and the mixed results you’ve had in games. Well, you being on waivers meant, in my imagination, that the Sea Otters could select you, and you’d be back up here; near me. I wanted to be closer to you!”
“Is that it?” Tanner sounded like he was carrying a slight bit of humor in his voice. Maybe he thought Alec had worked the problem to death. And he was right about the part that it had been Tanner’s problem to solve, not Alec’s. It was only his career, after all.
Alec answered, “I guess so. But I know it was wrong, trying to connive and manipulate the situation. It was your decision to do what you wanted with the information I had for you. Not mine at all. I don’t understand why you’re not angry with me.”
Tanner didn’t speak for a moment, then said, “You had a tough decision to make. Yeah, I could be mad; I understand that. But you’re 15 and had all these thoughts in your head, and I get that. It was hard. But I’m not angry. The fact is, I’m not happy with the Angels. And you might have found a way out for me. So, thanks, and no hard feelings at all. Now tell me about how I’m tipping pitches.”
Alec went into details, and Tanner said he was surprised, that he had no idea he was doing that. Then he said, “You know, I can see nuances in this situation; it’s not straightforward at all. You probably can see them, too. First off, I’d be glad to be waived by the Angels, and they have to send me down to the minors if I keep giving up runs. Send me down or trade me, and as you said, the money would eliminate that possibility.
“But I don’t fit well with the Angels. They lose a lot, the players are all older, there isn’t much team spirit, and I have no friends there. Going to the Otters would be a dream come true. Also, I want to be closer to both you and Joel. But I never gave a thought to doing anything about it. I just thought I was stuck. Rich, but stuck. You’re the one who’s been scheming.”
Alec grinned. “Well, if you want out of Anaheim and are eager to get the ball rolling, one way would be to make your tell more obvious. I think a couple of teams already know, the ones you’ve been hit by. I don’t know how they do. The Angels sure wouldn’t inform the Mariners. They’re in the same division and don’t want the Mariners having an edge on beating them.”
“I can answer that,” Tanner said. “Major league teams always have a scout covering the team they’ll be playing next. They could have had a scout watching me, and he could have picked up what I was doing.”
“That would explain some teams knowing. But, looking ahead, if the Angels find out you’re tipping, and they may know already, it’s very likely they’ll send you down, but more likely they’ll want to work with you on your footwork in Anaheim. I would think if you refuse to change your delivery, well, what’re they going to do? About all they can do is send you down. They wouldn’t get nearly what they paid for you in a trade after you were being hit. No, they’d almost certainly want to keep you, send you down, which means they have to put you on waivers. Based on your recent performances, they’ll risk the waiver wire. They’ll assume being in the minors will be motivation for you to make the changes they want. So, they’d put your name on the wire. That would be when the Otters could strike.”
“You’ve really thought about this. How do you know the Otters would put in a bid? I can’t see you telling your dad about this. That would put him in on a scheme that Major League Baseball would certainly overturn, with sanctions.”
“You’re right; I can’t. I’m not even sure Joel can; my dad’s already asking his advice about players. Wait till you get to know him. He’s amazing.
“I haven’t told him about the tipping; only you. I think we should wait on telling him. Just start screwing up a little and let the scenario play out with the Angels. When the waiver wire has your name on it, Joel and I will convince Dad to grab you.
“But my questions are: can you change your footwork and still be effective, maintain your control and not jeopardize your arm?”
“To tell the truth, I have no idea.”
Posted 5 April 2025