Alec really enjoyed having spent the time he had that day getting to know Tanner. Tanner was very down to earth. The fact he’d gotten a substantial signing bonus from the Braves—well over a million bucks—didn’t seem to have affected him at all.
When Tanner had finished loosening up on the mound and returned to visitors’ clubhouse and Alec had gone with him and taken off the catcher’s gear. Tanner asked him, “Hey, you want to hang out some when I’m in town?”
“Gosh, really? Sure, I’d love that, but I’m not old enough to drink.”
Tanner laughed. “I’m not, either! All my Angels’ teammates do. And here, the guys I knew in high school, a lot of them aren’t around, and the ones who are, well, we’re not in high school any longer and it would feel strange contacting them. I didn’t have a really close best friend or things might be different. I think if I did bump into some of the guys I knew back then, well, it would be a little uncomfortable. You know, the money I got? It would put us in a different place, and I wouldn’t fit in. Things have changed. I’d love having a buddy here that isn’t always reminding me of those days and how different everything is now. Someone to hang with who knows me just for me; someone who isn’t always referring to or distracted by the money. Someone with no history to distort things between us.”
“Sure. It’ll be great to get to know you better. When you’re in town, give me a call or a text.” He gave Tanner his cellphone number.
Tanner took it but then looked uncomfortable.
“What?” Alec asked.
“Well . . . I’ll do that, text when I’m going to be back here. But . . . the thing is . . . well, this sounds bad, kinda stalking-ish, maybe, but could I text more than just when I’m here? I mean, whenever?”
“What are you saying, Tanner? I’ll help you any way I can. You sound nervous, asking, and you have no reason to be with me.”
“Okay. For some reason, I feel really good talking to you. You haven’t acted like I’m anything other than who I used to be, and you can’t imagine how refreshing that is. You’re just a normal kid, like I am.” He stopped and looked away, then spoke more hesitantly. “I hope I can trust you to keep this to yourself, but, well, to tell the truth, the fact is, I’m lonely a lot of the time. Having someone I know who seems like regular people instead of someone who’s either starstruck or trying to get something from me—I don’t have that. Someone my age, about my age, just a friend . . . you know, I’d really like that. Everything is different for me now. Since meeting you, well, you’re so easygoing, so real. I feel like a kid again with you, and I miss that.”
Alec had the catcher’s gear off by then and was standing, wriggling his shoulders, looking down at Tanner who was sitting in the chair by his locker, his eyes looking at the floor in front of him. Alec moved closer to him, then pulled the other straight-backed chair over. He sat and reached out to touch Tanner’s knee, getting him to look up. “I’d be happy to do that, Tanner. I don’t have a lot of close friends, either. My dad only became the general manager here a couple of years ago, and then I lost my mother, and it’s hard—moving to a new town in February when you’re in middle school—and you’re still grieving. An outgoing boy with a ton of self-confidence could do fine in that situation, but that isn’t me. I have friends, but only casual ones. I’d be happy to text with you all you want. And spend as much time as we can when you’re here. I’d like it as much as you would. We’d be doing each other a favor.”
Tanner gave him a big smile. “I’d appreciate that. It’d be a big help for me.”
“I do have a thought, though,” Alec said. “None of my business, of course, but you said the guys you hung with when you lived here aren’t really available any longer, or being with them would be awkward. But you seemed pretty tight with that girl you were going with. You know, king and queen of the senior prom? Amanda something? Really pretty—beauty-queen pretty, I thought. Wouldn’t you rather be texting her, hanging with her when you’re here?”
Tanner met his eyes while Alec was talking, then dropped his gaze. He was silent, and the pause was growing awkward before he finally spoke. “I guess I need to tell you this. I already said I needed to trust you not to tell anyone I was lonely. Can I really trust you?”
“You can. I’d really like us to be good friends.” Alec hesitated, then said, “I much prefer having a really good friend more than several casual ones. Part of being good friends is trust. Yes, you can trust me, and I’ll trust you, too.”
“I’ll take that as a sincere promise. Okay. This is really scary for me—and dangerous—but somehow, there’s something about you that makes me feel safe confiding in you. I never tell anyone this, but, well, here goes. Amanda and I were a couple that supported each other. She was gay, and . . . I am, too. We avoided anyone knowing that by being a couple. That she was going to go to college and I wasn’t made breaking up after graduation convenient. That was expected for both of us. But we were never on the same wavelength as far as being close friends was concerned. We were just convenient for each other. She had a homophobic dad, and I wanted to be drafted by a major league team, so we both had strong reasons for not being outed.
“I’m not college material as far as academics go. Baseball was my future—most all I thought about in high school. For me, it was that or nothing. Uh, I’m guessing you’re okay with this—the gay stuff? Most guys your age are okay with gays these days. I’m just hoping you’re okay, too. This could ruin me if it got out.”
“I’m honored you’d trust me that much! Your secret is safe with me.”
“Whew! You’re the first one I’ve told other than Amanda. My mom doesn’t know. My dad isn’t around much; I rarely see him. He’s not part of my life. Uh, do you mind if I talk about being gay? I’ve never been able to tell anyone what I’m thinking and feeling.”
“No, that’s fine with me. Although I don’t know much about sex. Maybe you don’t, either, though. I guess you’re like me; you’ve never been—what’s the word—sexually active with anyone yet?”
“Never.”
“That has to be hard at your age. Even at mine, the urge to get with someone is strong, compelling, actually, and I haven’t, either.”
Tanner grinned at him. “As good looking as you are, you’ll be beating them off with a stick this year.”
Alec shook his head. “The girls in high school here—they want what they want and go after it. You have to remember how it was. If it’s the status of having a boyfriend and they need to agree to sex to get that, a lot of them, from what I hear my friends say, are okay with that. No one’s shown that interest in me yet. Maybe because I’m still kinda new here and maybe a little shy—not much but in some situations—and quiet and in the background mostly, but whatever, there wouldn’t be much status involved having me as their boyfriend. Girls want status.”
“But you certainly must have that! Your dad is the GM of the Sea Otters!”
Alec smiled. “I guess that’s where the shyness and living in the backgroud comes in. I doubt anyone at school knows that.”
Tanner nodded. “That’s what I didn’t have in school. No anonymity at all. Everyone knew me, knew all about me. That’s why I was so happy to hook up—using that term loosely—with Amanda. That allowed me to protect my secret and not be forced into something I didn’t want to do.”
“As I said, sex or a relationship hasn’t happened yet for me,” Alec said. “I’ve also never had anyone tell me I was good looking before. Hmmm. Maybe I’ve been trying to catch the eye of the wrong sex.” Then he laughed, feeling just a bit guilty to be so misleading.
««« »»»
Alec wondered after they’d parted why he hadn’t told Tanner that he too was gay. Part of it, he knew, was that other than his father, he hadn’t ever told anyone, and to blurt it out just hadn’t seemed right to him. He didn’t feel that guilty not having done so. If he eventually did tell Tanner, it would be up to Tanner to accept that he’d not been ready to out himself, and if the relationship was strong at that point, he felt that’s what would happen. If he’d told him right away, he thought it would sound like he wanted to have sex with Tanner, wanted to seduce him, and no way was he ready for that. Someday, down the road a piece: maybe?
He also thought about, wondered if Tanner would want to have sex with someone as young as Alec was. Considering this, he realized things had changed. He’d had a crush on Tanner when he didn’t know him at all. Now, that crush no longer existed. He knew him now as a person, and he liked him a lot; Tanner could be a great friend. Thinking about that, he ended up comparing his reaction to Leo with his reaction to Tanner. It was much different. Having sex with Leo seemed like something that could really happen. Something he kind of hoped would happen eventually. He didn’t feel that at all with Tanner. Was the age difference part of that? He didn’t know. Was it that their status was so different? He’d have to think about it, but he did know his feelings about the two were simply different.
This was all new to him. It had been some day! And it wasn’t over yet.
««« »»»
Hubbard Rafferty found Alec in the team clubhouse when he was ready to drive home. A few of the players had drifted in, and Alec had been busy introducing himself. “You ready to head home?”
Alec shook his head. “Why don’t we eat here? I want to see Tanner pitch, and why drive home when we can eat here?”
“That’s music to my ears. I usually just went home to be company for you at dinner. Anytime you want to spend the day here and stay for the night game, that’s fine with me.”
They ate where they’d had lunch. The food was excellent. Then Hubbard went back to his office and told Alec he’d see him in the owner’s box at game time.
Alec was at loose ends for a couple of hours after eating. He decided to watch batting practice. The Sea Otters had finished by the time Alec got to the field, and he got to see the Angels on the field. He looked for Tanner and saw him sitting in the dugout. He’d start warming up in the bullpen about a half hour before the game began.
Alec was sitting in the first row of seats next to the Sea Otters’ dugout when he was joined by a man wearing the vest that the ushers wore. “Hi,” the man said. “You’re early; the gates aren’t open yet.”
His manner wasn’t aggressive at all, and Alec smiled at him. “I’m Alec Rafferty. Mr. Rafferty’s son. I started working as a clubhouse attendant today. I thought I’d watch batting practice before the game. I have a seat in the owner’s box and will go up there when the crowd starts coming in. My sitting here now isn’t a problem, is it?”
“Not at all. Just checking why anyone was here so early. Happy to get to know you, Alec. I’m Bob Harper, chief usher. You ever need anything, come find me. I drift around during the games.”
After that and watching a while longer, Alec went back down to the clubhouse. He stuck his head in the door and saw the team’s manager addressing the players. He hadn’t met the manager yet and figured he had no business there, so backed out quickly.
When the gates opened and the crowd began pouring in, he made his way up to the owner’s box. An attendant wasn’t going to let him in till he flashed his placard at him. The attendant looked at him suspiciously, then asked, “Where’d you get this? It gives you permission to go anywhere in the ballpark. Only the executives get these. You’d better give it to me. You’d be in big trouble if anyone else caught you with it.”
“No, it’s mine,” Alec said, only a little intimidated and also a little amused. “I work here; my dad gave me this.” He could have explained further, but he was feeling feisty. Maybe it was some of that not-being-pushed-around thing he had. He’d been through a lot today and wasn’t going to be rousted by an officious functionary.
The guard was undecided. Usually if a kid was trying something, just a stern voice was enough to waylay him. This boy was acting very sure of himself.
“Uh, what’s your name?” he asked, his voice less demanding.
“Alec.”
“Alec what?”
“Alec Rafferty.” He smiled at the man when he said it.
“Mr. Rafferty, the general manager’s son?”
Alec nodded. “That’s me!”
The man looked like he didn’t know what to say, then simply turned and walked away. Alec was alone in the private box until the anthem had been played and the umpires had received the lineup cards. At that point, the door opened, and his dad came into the box. “It’ll just be the two of us tonight. How’d your day go?”
“It was great! I’m going to love this job. And I think I made a new friend, possibly a very good one.”
“Oh? Who?”
“Believe it or not, Tanner Simmons.”
“Holy Moly! Well, that’s a surprise. You do know he’s the enemy, don’t you?” Hubbard grinned after saying that, indicating the comment wasn’t meant to be taken seriously.
Alec looked at his dad, considering the remark. He knew his father was being facetious, but he still wanted to make his feelings clear. “He’s not my enemy. We’re going to start texting each other. He doesn’t have any friends on his team. I’m anxious to see how he does tonight.”
“Well, I hope he doesn’t do too well. We need this game.”
Alec laughed. “You say that about every game.”
“Well, we do!”
Alec had a great view of Tanner’s debut that night from the private box. Tanner did fine. He pitched into the sixth inning, striking out five batters and giving up only three hits and one run on a sacrifice fly. He looked comfortable on the mound, and when he was taken out in the sixth inning with his team in the lead, he had a huge grin on his face while walking back to his dugout; his teammates pummeled him on his back.
The thing Alec saw and he didn’t know what to do about was, he knew every time that Tanner was going to throw a curve ball or changeup before he let the ball go. Maybe only a half-second before, but he knew.
««« »»»
Over the next few days, Alec got to know Leo. Alec tended to be taciturn. Leo was a ball of energy, engaging and fun. He knew how to keep Alec laughing, and the job wasn’t a job as much as a two-man party.
Leo had changed his work times to coincide with when Alec would come in, usually around 9:30. That’s when his dad said the traffic usually had peaked and the roads were clearer. Hubbard made his own hours. He told Alec he was judged on how well the team did by how it improved each year, how the trades he made helped the team, how he performed within the budget the team allowed him; when he came to work and went home didn’t matter to his boss at all.
But this worked out well for both Alec and Leo. Leo told him the previous guy he’d worked with wanted to come in early so he had the whole day afterward for himself.
“I’m a teenager,” Leo told Alec. “I like to stay in bed as long as I can. 9:30’s much better than 7:30 when I had to be here before. You want to come in at 10:30, that’s fine with me.”
Leo always was dressed in clean jeans and a tee shirt that was tight enough to show every curve of his torso. The sleeves were tight against his biceps. His hair was messy rather than brushed and combed, and it made him look like a teen boy in a magazine spread to Alec. Alec had a difficult time taking his eyes off him. He was pretty sure Leo knew he was looking.
He was getting more and more attracted to Leo as the days passed. Not only as a friend, either. He’d developed a serious crush, and the sexual component of it was more than Alec had ever dealt with before. More and more often he was getting aroused in Leo’s company and had become very skilled at hiding it. He was sure Leo hadn’t seen it because Leo liked not only to flirt with him but tease him as well, and he would have had a ball torturing him about boners. But every day Alec worked with Leo, the attraction became stronger.
Alec hadn’t taken the step of showering at the end of their workday. He was sure he’d bone up if he did, and there was no way he could live with Leo if he ever did that.
Leo seemed to make getting naked for his shower in front of Alec a daily goal. At first, he’d simply done it, but by now he was doing it flirtatiously, maybe even seductively. It felt seductive to Alec, who tried to ignore him, not to watch, but he couldn’t pull his eyes away.
After work each day, Leo waited till he had Alec’s attention, then grinned and slowly dropped his boxers, taking much longer than the act required. Alec’s eyes were glued. When Leo was naked, he always touched himself. Not enough to get hard but enough to show how much he was into playing with himself. Or was it perhaps to draw Alec’s eyes to his dick? Alec wasn’t about to ask.
But then, each day when Leo was naked and had thrown a towel around his neck, which somehow made the nudity more striking, Leo always asked, “You coming today?” and leering at Alec, letting the double entendre hang in the air between them.
So far, Alec had simply shaken his head. He hadn’t been able to come up with a reason why not to shower; he realized whatever reason he came up with would sound defensive and weak. He felt he was better off just not giving one.
Occasionally, a player would come in while the two boys were busy straightening up the clubhouse. Leo seemed to know them all by name and introduced Alec to them. The younger ones were friendly. That was about half the team. The older ones didn’t seem interested in him at all; they were polite on meeting him but ignored him after that. This was fine with Alec. He was in a much different place in his life than they were in theirs; there was no commonality at all.
The players were all in good shape, many of them were Hispanic, and some, especially the younger ones, were very attractive. Many of them spoke Spanish, and when more than one was in the room, what they talked about was beyond Alec’s ability to follow. Leo spoke Spanish, and he often joined in their conversations.
The clubhouse attendant job wasn’t a nine-to-five, five-days-a week proposition. The team usually played six out of seven days. On Sundays they played a day game. From the beginning, Alec did what his father did: come into the stadium mid-morning, then stay till the night game was over. After all, Hubbard was his ride. He could ask to be taken home after his job was done, but there was nothing much to do there, and he was enjoying life at the ballpark.
The players usually appeared a few hours before their scheduled game. That meant most of the time around four or four-thirty and sometimes earlier. Alec and Leo were done with the rooms by late morning or early afternoon, and Alec could do what he wanted till he joined his dad for dinner in the executive cafeteria. He usually ate lunch by himself and brought a book or magazine to read.
The team would be leaving on a road trip the following week. Their last game before the trip would be the night following this one. In the afternoon of this game, Alec remembered he’d left one of the brushes he used when cleaning the shower room on a chair in the clubhouse. He went back to pick it up and stow it in his locker, getting to the room at six-fifteen in the early evening. When he opened the locker room door, he noticed two things. One, all the players were dressed and gone, out warming up on the field. And two, Leo was there, not gone like he usually was this late, and he was standing by the locker of one of the players. He had the door of the personal safe open and was removing a wallet from it. As Alec watched unnoticed, he saw Leo take some bills from the wallet, put them in his pocket, then lock the wallet back in the safe. Alec quietly backed out the door. Leo’s back was to him, and Alec silently closed the door, able to leave undetected.
««« »»»
Alec felt shocked. He had no idea what to do. Should he tell his dad he’d caught Leo stealing money? Should he confront Leo? He liked Leo! He was having dreams about him, dreams at night and daydreams as well. What he’d just seen made everything different and substantially harder. He’d never had a sexual moment with anyone, and he’d been thinking it was just a matter of time till he got together with Leo, the sort of getting together he’d been excited thinking about. He was so looking forward to it!
But now? Knowing Leo was stealing from the players? Didn’t Alec have a responsibility to the team? Certainly he had a responsibility to his father. Could he just let this go? And if he did, could he justify it by telling himself he wanted to have a sexual encounter with Leo, and squealing on him would deny him that? What kind of a person would do that? What kind of a person was he, anyway?
He’d never faced such a moral dilemma before. And he had no idea how to answer that question. While this was bouncing around in his head, he suddenly realized this wasn’t unique. He had the same situation with Tanner! Should he tell him that he could be giving away his pitches? Other teams were sure to figure it out. Or should he tell his dad and take advantage of what he knew the next time Tanner faced the Sea Otters, assuming no one else had figured out the pitch giveaway by then. Wasn’t that where his loyalty belonged? Yet he liked Tanner! It would be disloyal of him to take advantage of a weakness he’d discovered, wouldn’t it?
Posted 5 March 2025