Alex returned to Des Moines around 8 pm on December 23rd. Charlotte had only beaten him home by a few hours. Cameron had been home for several days and had really pushed Alex to introduce him to Jesse during that time, but Alex declined, saying it would only be fair to his sister if they both met Jesse at the same time.
Alex quickly finished his Christmas shopping the morning of the 24th, picking up two more pearls at a jewelry store for Charlotte’s add-a-pearl necklace. Once that was completed, gifts had been wrapped, and final preparations had been made for Christmas day dinner, Alex and his two children had the quiet, relaxing Christmas they’d expected. Board games on Christmas Eve, followed by 10 pm church. They opened gifts on Christmas morning, then ate more food than they should’ve, none of it healthy. The family time spent together was thoroughly enjoyed by all three. Family time was hard to come by during much of the year when Alex’s children were at two different universities. Alex knew it quite possibly would be harder still once they’d graduated. If they found a job in Des Moines, perhaps not right away. But even if they did land close to home, Alex knew they would soon be building families of their own. He was learning to cherish the times they spent together as a family.
Jesse also had a quiet Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with his parents. Alan and Betty were stunned when Jesse suggested that they go to church on Christmas Eve. Jesse hadn’t set foot in a church since the fight with Pastor Asshole, except for that one time with Alex. It had been nearly as long for Alan and Betty. They were surprised when Jesse told them that he’d accompanied Alex to church.
Jesse tried to explain some of the differences between Alex’s church and the church the Shaw’s had previously attended as a family. He couldn’t recall some of the new words he’d heard from Alex when he tried to explain some of those differences in the styles of worship. “And Alex rattled off some Latin words for the names of some of the different responses they said. Alex said they don’t call them those Latin words anymore, though. He seems kind of old fashioned when it comes to church.”
One of the words Jesse did recall was “liturgy.” He recalled that Alex had told him that Episcopal and Catholic Churches were also liturgical. There was no Lutheran Church in Pratt, but there were both Episcopal and Catholic Churches. And heck, the Episcopal Church was only a block away! The three walked to the Christmas service at All Saint’s Church. Jesse had thought that Alex’s church was what he’d termed “Catholic-y.” He discovered that Episcopalians were even more so. The three all found the worship service interesting, though, and were pleased when they were welcomed as warmly as they were.
Betty and Alan decided that, while they liked the church’s friendliness, that the worship style was just a bit too different from what they’d been used to. They were both surprised to find themselves considering trying one of the other churches in town. Organized religion was something they never thought they’d participate in again. Like Alex, though, they found comfort in the familiarity of church. They hadn’t realized how much they’d missed it.
Alex and Jesse spoke during the afternoon of Christmas Day. They regaled each other with their Christmas celebrations. Alex, too, was surprised that the Shaws all attended church Christmas Eve. He suggested they try the Presbyterian Church in town if they were looking for something a little closer to the worship styles they’d grown up with, or at least less Catholic-y, but without all their previous church’s homophobia and general disdain for anyone who thought slightly differently than Pastor Asshole did. Alex also asked to speak to Betty, so he could relay the rave compliments and thanks both Charlotte and Cameron had offered after sampling some of the cookies she’d sent home with Alex.
They discussed Jesse’s return to Des Moines with his parents. He thought they’d probably drive up to Des Moines on the 27th or 28th, weather permitting. Alan and Betty originally wanted to stay in a hotel, since Jesse only had a one-bedroom apartment. Jesse insisted they could have his bed and he’d sleep on the couch. Alex offered his house, but just like Jesse’s apartment, there weren’t enough beds to go around. They’d thought about having his parents stay in Jesse’s apartment and Jesse stay with Alex. In the end they decided on Jesse’s original plan. Betty and Alan were planning on returning to Kansas on the 30th or 31st, again, weather permitting.
Jesse and his parents rolled into town during the afternoon of December 27th. After stopping at Jesse’s apartment to drop off their things, they continued to Alex’s house. Alex, Cameron, and Charlotte were all waiting rather impatiently for the Shaws to arrive. Alex couldn’t believe his excitement upon seeing Jesse. Introductions were made. Within minutes, the Shaws and the Kimballs had fallen into a comfortable rapport, as though they’d known one another for years. Alex took the Shaws and his children to dinner that evening. He was somewhat surprised when Charlotte and Cameron sat on either side of Jesse, then proceeded to monopolize his time. It was clear that the two were grilling Jesse, wanting to make sure his intentions with their father were honorable; at least that’s how Jesse described it to Alex later. Though Alex was a little concerned by their behavior, Betty thought it was sweet. Alan found the whole thing amusing.
Alan and Betty left for Kansas early on the morning of December 30th. Jesse returned to Alex’s house later that morning, and he and Alex finally got to exchange their Christmas gifts with one another. Alex had gotten Jesse a new bike, so he wouldn’t have to borrow Cam’s, as well as a new helmet. Jesse got Alex an iTunes gift card. Jesse felt his gift was rather impersonal, but it was what Alex had asked for. He was delighted.
It was the last moment, but Alex had suggested that they have a few friends over on the 31st. Jesse thought it was a good idea to ring in the new year with friends. Alex and Jesse each contacted, or attempted to contact, the other members of the men’s group. Rhys, Ian, Andrew, Robbie, and Anthony indicated they were available. The others all were forced to decline the invitation because they already had other plans. Kevin in particular thanked Alex profusely for the invitation, so much so that Alex made a note to invite him over again soon, perhaps by himself.
Rhys surprised Alex when he asked if he could bring a guest along. Alex thought one extra sounded great, but he quickly let his mind wander. ‘What? He isn’t tired of Ian already, is he? Or maybe they’re into threesomes.’ Riley turned out to be a relatively new coworker of Rhys’s. Rhys wanted to get Riley to join their men’s group and thought that this would be a way to have Riley meet some folks, so he wasn’t overwhelmed meeting everyone all at once. “Just like I did,” thought Alex.
Cameron and Charlotte both had plans for the evening, but hadn’t left before Rhys, Ian, and Riley arrived. There were introductions all around, and Alex was happy that his kids managed to meet a couple more of his friends.
Parties on New Year’s Eve made Alex nervous. A classmate of his had been killed by a drunk driver early on a New Year’s Day many years prior. Cameron and Charlotte knew Alex’s rules. In addition to not driving after having consumed alcohol, Alex had a New Year’s Day-specific rule. If they were going to come home after the new year dawned, they had to do it right away, so they were home before too many other merrymakers attempted to make their way home. If they didn’t want to leave right after singing Auld Lang Syne, they needed to stay overnight. This year, Alex was extra glad that they’d be staying elsewhere for the night. Though he’d spent the night several times at Jesse’s place, this was the first time that Jesse would spend the night at Alex’s. Alex had offered to host his other friends as well, though he was secretly glad that they’d all declined. As it turned out, Andrew and Robbie were practically neighbors with Alex. Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but they only lived a mile or so away.
Alex decided to cook steaks for his guests on the gas grill in the back yard. A steak dinner on New Year’s Eve had become a tradition with his family. Alex was trying to limit the amount of red meat he ate, so this was generally the only time during the year that he ate steak. He was happy the evening temperatures were supposed to be relatively mild, at least by Iowa standards. While Alex grilled, Jesse helped get the rest of their meal together. Dinner was a success, and the eight men enjoyed each other’s company. Sometime after eleven o’clock, Alex was able to corner Rhys for a private conversation.
“Rhys, can I ask you something?”
“Sure, Alex. What’s up?”
“Well, I wanted to ask you about your friend Riley.”
“What about?”
“Uh, I hope I don’t put my foot in my mouth. Is Riley trans?”
“Yes, actually, he is,” replied Rhys. “That isn’t an issue, is it?”
“Well, no, not at all. It’s just when you introduced us, I thought Riley was, but I wasn’t sure. I didn’t want to like, ask, or anything. I guess I thought you’d have said something beforehand.”
Alex was somewhat surprised by the hard edge to Rhys’s response. “Alex, there’s a reason I didn’t say anything. Does it matter if he is or isn’t? It doesn't matter to me, and I would expect you to have the same attitude.”
“You know it doesn't matter to me, either, Rhys. At least I would hope you do.”
“If it doesn't matter,” replied Rhys, “why did you feel a need to ask?”
Alex didn’t have a quick response to Rhys’s comment. His face reddened. He was then horrified when Rhys turned, snagged Riley, who was just walking past, and brought him into the conversation.
“Hey, Riley, Alex here seems to think it matters if you’re trans or not.” Alex wanted to dig a hole in the back yard, then jump into it.
“Rhys, I said no such thing!”
Riley, however, turned out to be a good sport. For the most part.
“Alex,” said Riley, “can I ask how old you are?”
“I’m 55.” Alex’s face continued to redden.
“Okay. You’re Gen X then,” Riley stated. “That probably explains a lot.”
Alex looked at Riley questioningly. “How so?”
“Well,” Riley continued, “it seems to me that Gen Xers like to pigeonhole everything. Everything needs to have a label. Everything must be black or white. No shades of grey are allowed.”
“Yes!” cried Alex. “I’ve said that many times!”
“Alex,” said Riley, “you need to learn that it’s okay for some things to be grey.”
After a few seconds, Riley asked another question. “How many trans men, or trans women, have you met before?”
“Well, only one. You. When I was a young adult, ‘transgender’ wasn’t a word I’d ever heard. I mean, people didn’t have ‘gender-affirming surgery.’ You had a ‘sex-change operation.’ I’m not 100% sure that this is true, but it seemed you had to go to Sweden to have the operation, too.”
Riley giggled and nodded his head in understanding.
“Can I tell you a little story?” asked Alex.
“Sure.”
“Okay,” began Alex, “I hope I’m not digging my grave even deeper.”
“I’m willing to cut you some slack,” Riley commented, a wry grin on his face.
“Well, let me tell you about my, uh, journey of understanding what it means to be transgendered. Like I said, when I was young, seeing transgender people was much more unusual. I want to make it clear that I understand that there’ve always been transgender people, it’s just that average cis-people like me were a lot less understanding, and many people who were trans didn’t present themselves that way.”
“So far, so good, Alex.”
While Alex was lost in his conversation with Riley, he didn’t realize that his other friends had quieted down. One by one they began to listen to Alex’s story.
Alex continued. “I just want to share my journey of understanding if you will. Let me just say, for the longest time I couldn’t keep it, uh, straight, if you will. Was a trans male someone who was born male, or someone who identified as male?”
“In other words,” Riley commented, “did trans males have male parts or female parts?”
“Yes, thank you! I wasn’t willing to say it like that. Anyway, I couldn’t remember, for whatever reason. Now, in just a bit, I’m going to say something that is something that I never would say today. I just want to make that completely clear.”
“Is this going to be like when you hear someone say, “I’m not a racist, but…? And you know that the next thing out of their mouth will be something really, really racist?”
“Oh, God, I hope not that bad. I’m just trying to share my story of understanding.”
“I’m just giving you shit, Alex,” said Riley. “No matter what you say, I’m sure I’ve heard worse, probably in the last week.”
“Maybe I just need to keep this story to myself.”
“No, continue, Alex. You seem like a decent sort, wanting to learn and understand. It would have to be pretty bad to offend me. You learn to have a tough skin when you’re transgendered.”
“Okay,” continued Alex. “So, you know I couldn’t keep trans male versus trans female straight, uh, no pun intended. And, I just realized, you can judge me for that, or you can judge me for the next thing I’m going to say. When Charlotte was around, oh, 14 or so, she and I would watch ‘Degrassi’ together.”
Riley burst out laughing. “Oh my God, that’s funny. I won’t judge you for that, as I also watched it religiously at that age.”
“Okay, then, you may remember the season where, among others, they welcomed a new Freshman character named Adam.”
“No, that may’ve been after I’d stopped watching ‘Degrassi.’”
“Anyway, Adam was this new Freshman, and he started figuring into the storyline bit by bit, but I wasn’t sure where his character was going to go. Here comes the part where I’m going to say something I would never say now. I finally figured out how Adam’s story was going to go, before the big reveal on the show. I suddenly exclaimed, ‘Oh my God. Adam’s a girl!’ Those exact words.”
Riley laughed but made no further comment.
“So, a few episodes later, Adam is having a discussion with another character about sexual attraction. And this is where I had my eureka! Moment. Adam says something to the effect of, ‘I’m attracted to girls. That means I’m straight.’ Now, why that made everything clear to me, I don’t know. But after that episode, it dawned on me that a ‘trans male’ is male, and a ‘trans female’ is female.”
Alex became more aware of his surroundings as his friends applauded and shouted. Alex’s face reddened yet again.
Oblivious to the applause and shouts, Riley commented, “See, now you understand that there are shades of grey. In this case, a man who happens to have a vagina instead of a penis. Definitely neither black nor white.”
Their conversation was interrupted when Jesse said, “Alex, let’s get the champagne ready to roll. It’s ten minutes to midnight.”
After the countdown, everyone shouted, “Happy new year!” and toasted one another with champagne. They hugged and kissed one another. Being able to share a kiss, even a chaste one, with another man was still a thrill to Alex. It made him feel free.
After being hugged and kissed by Alex, Robbie seemed to melt back into Andrew’s arms. Robbie smiled as he felt Andrew’s arms wrap around his chest. Robbie then said to Alex, “Alex? You do know that the drinking age is 21, right?”
Not sure where this was going, Alex simply nodded and said, “Yes.”
Robbie said, “You could get in lots of trouble. I’m underage. You’re throwing an underage kegger, you know!”
Alex burst out laughing. Andrew was also trying hard to suppress a chuckle. Robbie just looked at Alex as if he’d lost his marbles.
Once he’d managed to stop laughing, Alex said to Robbie, “You know you’re fucking adorable, right?”
“Yes, yes I do,” Robbie replied.
Once again, Alex began to laugh. After a few seconds, Alex asked Robbie, “Do you even know what a kegger is?”
“Well, it’s when you throw a party where underage people are served alcohol, right?”
“I gave you an alcoholic beverage tonight,” replied Alex, “but I did not throw a kegger.” Alex bit his tongue to keep from laughing again. “A kegger, by definition, involves a keg. A keg of beer, to be exact. Champagne doesn’t normally come in kegs. And the term ‘kegger,’ at least to me, implies a massive number of people, not eight. I don’t think I’d consider this an underage party, either, as you’re the only one here who’s underage.”
“Well, I’m not 21, so it was still illegal.”
“Yes, Robbie, you are technically correct. But if you were so concerned about breaking the law, why did you accept the glass of champagne?”
Robbie didn’t seem to have a good response to that question, so Alex continued. “I think the drinking age of 21 is kind of stupid, really. I gave my kids alcohol when they were, oh, 16 or so. When I say, ‘gave my kids alcohol,’ I mean one glass of wine with dinner, one beer, that sort of thing. I didn’t encourage them to get shitfaced. In fact, that was the point. I wanted them to have a healthy respect for alcohol, so they didn’t feel the need to get shitfaced as soon as they got to their first underage kegger in high school, or when they went to their first frat party in college, or whatever.”
Alex wanted to give Robbie another hug, but since Andrew’s arms were already encircling Robbie, Alex instead leaned forward and gave Robbie another kiss on the cheek. He then said, “Andrew, I hope you know how lucky you are.”
Robbie replied on behalf of Andrew. “Yes, he knows how lucky he is. I remind him daily.”
Alex burst into laughter yet again.
A little after 12:30, his friends began to don their coats in preparation to leave. Ian wanted to busy himself with helping to tidy up the house, even though Rhys was clearly ready to go. Alex told Ian not to worry about the mess. “It’s really not that bad, Ian. Besides, it’ll give Jesse and me something to do when we get up in the morning.”
Alex hadn’t really thought about it, and perhaps his friends hadn’t either. Without saying so in words, Alex had let his friends know that Jesse would be spending the night. As Ian donned his coat, Rhys and Andrew began to hoot and carry on.
“Alex is going to be getting some tonight!”
“Shut up, guys!” replied Alex laughingly. “Now shoo! Get out!”
Once their friends had left, Alex locked the front door, then turned off the porch light. Jesse wrapped his arms around Alex from behind, just as Andrew had done to Robbie not that long before.
“So, Alex,” Jesse asked, “what do you want to do now?”
“First, let me just say I didn’t think they’d ever leave. I love our friends, but once midnight had come and gone, I couldn’t think of much else besides you and me in bed.”
Jesse gave Alex a look of fake surprise. Then Alex added, “naked.”
Jesse’s look became one of actual surprise.
“It’s a new year. I want to start it off on the right foot. And to me, starting it off on the right foot means starting the year with you, in bed, naked. Once we’re naked, we’ll see where things go from there.”
Shortly thereafter, Jesse and Alex finished their bathroom activities, then walked into Alex’s bedroom. They slowly began to disrobe one another. Both found the activity to be quite arousing. Soon, they were both completely nude. They turned down the covers and climbed into bed. They embraced, and began to kiss deeply and passionately, enjoying the feel of their unclothed bodies in contact with one another. After several minutes of passionate kissing, they stopped but continued to explore one another’s bodies with their hands. Alex then pushed Jesse onto his back, before pressing his own body down onto Jesse’s. He kissed Jesse’s lips, then slowly moved lower, kissing his chin, then his neck, then his collarbone. All the while, Jesse’s hands gently running through Alex’s hair. Alex continued lower, reaching Jesse’s right nipple, which he flicked with his tongue for a few minutes, before moving to Jesse’s left. He’d been suckling Jesse’s left nipple for a minute when Alex realized Jesse hands were still in his hair, but they were no longer moving.
“Jesse?” he asked, softly. He got no reply.
Jesse had fallen asleep.
Alex began to get frustrated, but soon realized that was a pointless exercise. Instead, he gently extracted Jesse’s hands from his hair, then rolled off Jesse. He then snuggled up to Jesse, a smile on his face. There’d be plenty of times for them to be intimate with one another. For now, snuggling his naked body up against Jesse’s was enough. He smiled. Within a few minutes, he too was asleep.
Posted 22 January 2025